The divorce process, the kids and finding a taste of true love

My number one priority in the pre and post divorce process, was and still is, how it affects my kids. I wanted their lives to change as little as possible and have changes happen over time. This was new to all of us and we figured it out, as we went along, with each new twist and turn. As crazy as it sounds, we all lived under one roof. The kids and I were in the main part of the house and their father in the addition/downstairs part of the house. The kids like this as they could see their dad every day if they wanted to. He came and went through the back door, so we hardly saw each other. I was reminded, however that he was there, by his tidy whitey underwear that he would leave hanging on the doorknob, on the bathroom door. At first I took a picture, sent a text and would ask him to remove them and to please not leave them again. He would leave them over and over again. I feel it was his way of saying I’m still here. After a while, I took a plastic bag to grab them and would throw them away. The underwear being left on the doorknob stopped. I’m not sure if he ran out of underwear or got the message finally.
At first we had a calendar system for who would care for the kids. If you had something on a certain day you would have to write it on the calendar. The first one to write something on that date was free to do what they had planned. The other person had to change their plans or make arrangements for our kids. This worked for a while, until their father and I differed on the definition of staying local. We met for coffee and talked. We came up with another plan, an every other week arrangement that seemed to work better for both of us. I would make plans with family friends dates etc. on my free week.
This is when I turned to online dating, as it seem to be the way to meet people. I found it then and still do, for the most part, so mentally exhausting. I receive a message from a guy, answer him and then never hear back. I start chatting with a guy and without an
explanation, never hear from him again. Meet a guy, have a great time, have him ask if he can see me again and after saying good night never hear from him again. Then sometimes weeks or sometimes even months later I get a text message from a guy saying “hi how are you?” really? Then one night I received a message from a guy and all it said was “hi”. I wrote “hi” back, then he wrote “I’m Frank”. I wrote back giving him my name. We chatted via email for a while, he didn’t want to give me his number, which I totally understood. Then one night I was heading out to meet friends and he asked if I could have my daughter take a picture and send it to him. I tried to the send it through the site and I couldn’t so he gave me his number. We then began to text and then made a date to meet. We met without talking on the phone. The moment I sat down across from him and looked into his eyes, he had my heart. We went from coffee, to a walk along the beach. We walked, talked, laughed and didn’t want the night to end. Five hours later we said good night and made plans for dinner the next night. I didn’t know it at the time, but Frank taught me so many things and would forever change me for the better. Frank unfortunately passed away in April 2013 and I was devastated. After the shock wore off I found comfort in the short 15 months I was with Frank he showed me more love, affection and passion then in the 18 years in my marriage. I for the first time in my life knew true love. It was then that I realized what I want in a relationship and when I was ready I vowed not to settle. Frank wasn’t just my lover but my best friend! I am lucky to have experienced that and fear I will not find that again.  PLEASE FOLLOW ME IF YOU LIKE MY BLOG AND YOU WILL GET NOTIFIED WHEN THERE IS A NEW POST. THANKS!


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