I seem to hear the same story over and over again with each new guy I meet and/or talk to. It is the same thing I hear from my girl and guy friends that divorced or are in an unhappy marriage, the affection and sex has stopped, it doesn’t exist. Either the husband or wife has lost interest in their spouse. They did or have stopped communicating and basically have become roommates, two people sharing a house and raising their children. The same thing happened in my marriage. He never was very affectionate and he was the first guy I ever had sex with, so I was unaware how boring my sex life really was. There are so many men on the dating sites that are married and either their spouse and him have decided to stay married and do their own thing, given each other permission to date or feel since their spouse has cut them off in the bedroom and has stopped all affection, that they have every right to find a woman willing to give them what they crave. Most of the men I have met crave affection, such as hand holding, hugs, cuddling, etc. more than sex. They miss holding someone who actually wants them to hold them and talk with someone that actually wants to listen to them. Have we become a society of throw away spouses, if it doesn’t work we will toss that one aside and find a new one? Marriage is hard work and in today’s world where both the husband and wife have to work to make ends meet, does our spouse become an option rather than a priority? I tried for over six years to work on my marriage and in the end he didn’t want to and therefore since your partner has to want to make it work, if they don’t there is nothing you can do, but walk away. One guy asks me what I am looking for in a partner and I said I want my guy to never stop dating me and me to never stop dating him. He didn’t understand, he said so you never want to commit to another man and that is not what I meant. I want my guy to text me each morning we are not together and tell me good morning and let me know he’s thinking of me. I want my guy to text me to get dressed and be ready at 7pm and then take me to dinner, a movie or a night out on the town. I want my guy to surprise me and cook me a meal and rent a movie I would love to see and stay home have dinner and then cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. I don’t want flowers on Valentine’s day or my birthday, I want flowers for no reason at all. As I want him to never stop dating me, I will never stop dating him. I will surprise him with tickets to his favorite sporting event, concert or even book a guys weekend away for him with his friends. I will cook him a meal and rent a movie he likes. I will do things in bed he likes, even though they aren’t my favorite thing to do, as I would want him to do the same for me. I feel a relationship is give and take and some days we give and some we take. Life isn’t easy and we all have stress in our lives, between work, kids, dealing with the ex’s, money, etc., but a relationship shouldn’t be stressful. Yes it is work and everything will not always be wonderful, but we have to take time for our partners and tell them each day one positive thing, whether it’s how you love the way they always text you good morning and make sure you got to work safe, if they always give you a hug even when you don’t need it, it’s the little things that don’t cost a thing, that we should be doing to show our partner that we care. So if you and your partner have lost that, try each day to text them or give them a compliment and see if they don’t start to give you a compliment. Try to give them a hug for no reason, even if they resist. Offer to give them a back rub no strings attached. You make the arrangements for a sitter for the kids and make a reservation for dinner and text her to be ready at 7pm for a surprise. Make an appointment for his and her massages. Plan a me day for her and you do all the things she would have to do. Also women call his friends and plan a golf day send him off for the day with his buddies with no guilt. Send the kids to grandma and grandpa’s for the night and buy some sexy lingerie, massage oils and lotions. We need to do things together and apart, we need to surprise our partners and we need to make our partners a priority not an option. I settled in my marriage and refuse to settle any more. PLEASE FOLLOW ME IF YOU LIKE MY BLOG AND YOU WILL GET NOTIFIED WHEN THERE IS A NEW POST. THANKS!