Sexual connection, important or not?

This is a topic many may shy away from, but for me it is an important one. After divorce, as my readers know, I discovered how truly boring my married sex life was. I thought all men didn’t enjoy giving or receiving oral sex, as my ex called me a freak, would not perform or like to have oral sex performed on him. After divorce, I began to explore my sexual side and continue to do so. I found sex can be very thrilling, exciting and doesn’t have to just be done in a bedroom. I discovered it can actually be truly amazing, with the right person and connection. I also have discovered along the way some things I like and don’t like. This brings me to my question, when do you think you should have a conversation about sex with someone? Should you talk about it before you even meet? You don’t want to give someone the wrong impression, yet you don’t want to connect with someone on all other levels and then when it comes to sex, you are on different pages or it is just down right awful. I met this guy and he was a sweetheart of a guy, tall, handsome, smart, successful and great dad. After we connected on all other levels, he told me he likes a submissive woman. I thought, I will try this and went over to his place. We talked and he explained he discovered, in his twenties, he liked being very dominant. He then told me he would give me a sample of what he likes. At first it wasn’t so bad, he was giving me commands and wanted to be addressed as sir. Everything was going good until I didn’t say yes sir and he told me next time I would be punished. I have had guys give me a spankings, to be honest it is a turn on, so I thought no big deal. The next time I forgot to say “yes sir” he smacked me across the face, that is when I was done and knew it wasn’t for me. He explained that he left his wife, as he put that part of him aside, when he got married, but found he craved it and didn’t enjoy sex without having a total submissive partner. I felt disappointed, he was such a nice guy and we connected so much, expect with sex. If him and I would have had a conversation about sex in the beginning and he would have explained his form of punishment, we would not have wasted each other’s time. I haven’t had many sexual partners, as I feel you really need to get to know a person before you cloud things with sex. So this is where it gets confusing, as you want to get to know someone and see if you connect on other levels before jumping in bed with them, yet you don’t want to waste your time with someone who you don’t connect with sexually. I like to have the conversation about sex in the beginning with someone, to ensure we are both on the same page with sex. I have had men tell me their equipment doesn’t work, they were very vanilla in the bedroom or feel since I brought up the topic, that deep down I wanted to jump in bed with them right away. I feel we are adults and we should be able to talk about sex, without someone thinking that’s all we are interested in. I have had one person that I have an amazing connection with, you all know him as, the most amazing sex guy. We were friends for so long and really connected so well, he became my best friend. Him and I have shared  so much, as well as our sexual experiences that we had with others, as there is nothing we can’t talk about. I was very nervous the first time we were going to have sex, as he had shared with me about one woman, who was the most amazing lover he had ever had. I wondered how I would compare, I know I could never be as amazing as she was and that was scary and terrifying for me. The first time we had sex it was truly beyond amazing and we connected so well, almost no words needed to be spoken, as it seemed that we both knew what the other wanted us to do. I have never connected so well with someone sexually. I feel because we did share so much, it was both a positive and negative. The positive was we both knew what the others likes and dislikes were, when it came to sex. The negative was we had share so many of our great experiences, it put a little pressure on us to live up to the others great experiences. It turned out to be the most amazing sexual experience I have ever had. I wonder if being friends, connecting on other levels, sharing so much with each other and truly knowing each other, if that is what made it and continues to make it so amazing. It isn’t just about the sex, it is everything that leads up to it. We enjoy each other’s company out of the bedroom, as well as in the bedroom. I think it is important to connect both physically, emotionally, spiritually and sexually. I know this doesn’t sound easy, but we need to remember this is the second time around and we shouldn’t settle for nothing less than amazing. PLEASE FOLLOW ME IF YOU LIKE MY BLOG AND YOU WILL GET NOTIFIED WHEN THERE IS A NEW POST. THANKS!

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One thought on “Sexual connection, important or not?

  1. I always felt that when starting a relationship you should be able to rely on each other as best friends, with that comfort zone gives you the confidence to be more open with each other… emotionally & physically… So yes, I think it’s a great idea to talk about sex in the beginning, as long as its not in a creepy way.

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