Funny stories to make sad friends laugh….

This Wednesday we buried a dear friend, who was taken way too soon at the age of 44 years old. He was a great father, son, brother and friend. He leaves behind his two sons, 10 and 12 years old. He loved life and loved to laugh. We honored him after the funeral, by sharing happy and funny moments with him. I saw people I hadn’t seen in some time, so they asked me what was new in my life. I told them I was now divorced and back out on the dating scene. I then explained how mentally draining it was and the fools I met along the way. I explained how I was very naive, when I first started dating, as my ex was my first, only and boring. The first story that came to mind was when I was first on the dating sites. I started instant messaging this guy one night, the conversation was a normal one, where do you live, how many kids, what do you do for a living, etc. Then he sends me a message and asks “how is your lawn manicured”, to which I respond “I don’t take care of my lawn my ex does”. He replies with “so you and your ex still have relations?” I was confused by this question as I had told him we were basically roommates the last almost six years of our marriage, so I replied no. He said “then why does he take care of your lawn?”. I replied with “He is a control freak, never let me take care of the lawn and he has always taken care of the lawn”. We went back and forth and then he finally said that it was obvious that we were talking about two different things and told me good luck. I later found out he was talking about my female lawn. The next story I told them about, was this one guy who I met for just a drink, which turned into dinner and a movie. At the time he seemed normal. We had a great time and we took a drive to Atlantic City the next night. While we were in AC, he told me we could get a room and stay the night. I explained to him that wasn’t going to be happening. He then said to me “well they do call me the white african”, to which I replied “ok”. He then kept saying it and I finally said “I don’t know what you mean”. We left AC and about five weeks later I found out what he meant, that he was very blessed in the penis area. I will tell you this, bigger isn’t always better, doesn’t mean they know how to use it or that it works. I learned its quality not quantity. This was the same 47-year-old guy, whose mother took his phone, called me, told me that her son will never see me again, as I was not good enough for her son. Also, that I could not give him children and she deserves grandchildren. You can’t make this stuff up people. Another time we were over my sisters, she asked if I wanted coffee, so I asked her if she had a tea bag. My son and two nephews let out a chuckle. She said yes and I told her “I want a tea bag”. Well the boys laughed harder and I turned to them and said “why is it so funny that I want a tea bag?”. My son then begged me not to say it again. I went in another room and text a male friend and asked him why they were laughing. When he answered I then understood why. I had another guy that told me he married a bisexual woman. After they had their son, he came home from work one night, she had emptied the house, moved both herself and his son not just out of the house, but out of the state. I felt sorry for him and we chatted every day. I knew he wasn’t interested in meeting, as he wasn’t ready, but needed a friend. As time went on he told me stories, one was that his wife would request him to dress in her lingerie and high heels around the house and in the bedroom. He told me a lot of stories, but this one to me would have been a red flag. I thought it was weird and shared with one of my friends. She said if she told my husband if he goes upstairs, dresses in her lingerie and high heels, that he is getting sex tonight, she said he would probably trip going up the stairs, that’s how fast he would move. These are just a few of the many many stories I have. I had my friends laughing. I feel these are stories my dear friend would have loved to hear and would have been laughing along with us. I was glad I could make my grieving friends and family laugh in such a sad and sorrowful time.  PLEASE FOLLOW ME IF YOU LIKE MY BLOG AND YOU WILL GET NOTIFIED WHEN THERE IS A NEW POST. THANKS!


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