Sick of hearing they know they have your love?

In some divorce cases, there seems to be one parent who gets more respect than the other parent. The primary parent in some cases, seems to be taken advantage, because they are the parent spending most of the time with the children. The parent that only sees their children one night during the week for dinner and every other weekend, seems to be the fun or hero parent. The primary parent seems to be the zero (or bad guy). The children seem to have no problem telling off or expecting anything and everything from the primary parent, but the part-time parent they say little or nothing too. Most therapist will say to the primary parent “they know they have your love, but not sure they have the other parents love” or “they get such little time with the other parent, they don’t want to ruin it by fighting with them” Also, the part-time parent doesn’t live with the children day in and day, therefore wants their time together to be fun. I am not saying the part time parents time should not be fun, but the primary parent shouldn’t always be the bad guy or the verbal punching bag, either. There comes a point where the primary parent has enough of being disrespected and taken advantage of. When the primary parent finally puts their foot down and will not take any more, does that mean the children should get mad and ignore them? I never liked the statement that they know they have your love, but not sure they have their love, so they are afraid of saying anything and losing the other parent. Yes I love my children with all my heart, but when day in and day out they take advantage of you, disrespect you and you are their verbal punching bag, even when they are angry at the other parent and they come at you, it isn’t fair! No children didn’t ask for the divorce, but when one parent can do so much more for their children and they don’t, it’s not just frustrating for the children, but also for the other parent. When the children are young adults, they should be able to speak to the other parent and tell them how they feel. If the part time parent is doing something to upset the young adult children, then they should be able to talk to the other parent and tell them how they feel, without fear. I know that isn’t always possible, but if the parent doesn’t like what the child or children have to say, then maybe it’s because the truth hurts and/or they know what they are doing is wrong. They should be able to talk and come to a compromise. The young adult children also, have to realize how much it hurts and is frustrating for the primary parent to see their children getting hurt over and over again, knowing there is nothing they can do about it. It also is extremely hurtful and frustrating for the primary parent to endure all the verbal abuse, that should be directed at the other parent. When you have a parent that refuses to communicate with the other parent, there really isn’t much that can be done. Therefore, it is extremely important for parents to communicate with each other, no matter what the ages of their children. So if you are the primary parent, enduring all the mood swings, frustration, verbal abuse and anything else, day in and day out, what are you to do? Especially if your children are sharing with you the things that the other parent is doing or saying that hurts them, so you in turn you share with the other parent, only to be told to mind your own business. How do you resolve a situation, when your young adult children will not share with the other parent out of fear, yet when you do, they don’t want to hear it! It is very frustrating for the parent, as well as the children. The primary parent may have to tell their young adult children, I don’t want to hear it, don’t tell me. This may seem harsh, but maybe it will force the children to then speak to the other parent. I don’t know what the answer is, but know it’s frustrating for both the parent and children and it shouldn’t be this way, as communication is key in every relationship!  PLEASE FOLLOW ME IF YOU LIKE MY BLOG AND YOU WILL GET NOTIFIED WHEN THERE IS A NEW POST. THANKS!


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