To my STALKER

I would love for you to contact me!!! Don’t be a coward go ahead contact me ask me anything and I will tell you the truth!!! Read carefully!!!! You are pathetic!!! I am done as I will no longer sensor my posts!!! Move on or accept it!!! How about not reading my blog!!! And thanks for the compliment that your life is so pathetic that you have to stalk me! I can’t help it if you can’t make someone happy!!! Move on or accept the way things are!!! Watch for Mr. Incredible ;)))))

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What do you want?

So to my readers and if you leave a comment I will not have any info on you….please leave what you want to hear or have me write about….thank you….

A guardian angel

A guardian angel was made especially for you

To give you the strength to get through

Her wings to comfort you day and night

Her wings were made to hug you so very tight

She was made to help you each and every day

No matter if you are home, work or at play

She was made to remind you so many love you so

She was made to comfort you at times when you are feeling low

She is as special as you are

She like you shines as bright as a star

© 2014 Teri Fitzgerald

Why can some parents get along and others refuse? Continued…..

Continued…..The first time my children heard of a new girlfriend for their father, was when their grandmother passed away. My ex told our daughter that she would be attending the funeral and if she didn’t like it, that was to bad. My daughter was distraught over this. My mother was here visiting, from Florida and overheard the conversation her granddaughter had with her father. She told her granddaughter she would call the funeral home and arrange to pay for a separate service for her and her brother. The next day the ex called and advised our daughter that the new girlfriend would not be attending, since our daughter didn’t want her there. I had so much respect for this woman, I have never met. That respect, for this woman, began to be questioned, and in time I would lose all respect for her. My ex pressured both our children to meet girlfriend, on his one and only day he requested to see our children, Wednesdays from 4pm-8pm. He advised our children that if that wanted to see him on that day, he would also have to meet and see his girlfriend. My son went, when his work schedule allowed. My daughter refused, as she wasn’t ready to meet her father’s girlfriend yet and she told her father so. Her brother then told his sister, not only was the girlfriend there on their day, but her son was also. Week after week of the ex pulling up with the girlfriend in the passenger seat, her son in the back seat and our daughter watching out the window, with tears in her eyes, as her brother would get in the car and pull away, was heartbreaking for me. I couldn’t believe that this woman would come with my ex week after week and not question why his daughter wasn’t joining them. I can’t believe this woman, who now my ex was living with, wasn’t questioning why his daughter wouldn’t see him. I thought if this was me, I would be asking over and over again. I would be encouraging him to call her, text her and try to spend time with her. I don’t know what my ex was telling her, but I can’t image myself being with a man that didn’t have a relationship with his daughter and/or children.
I tried and emailed the ex to explain that our daughter wanted to spend his court scheduled visitation, with just him and not his girlfriend or her son. The reply I would get back would be that I had no right to tell him how to parent. I tried explaining that I wasn’t telling him how to parent, but sharing how our daughter felt, but he didn’t see it that way.
He finally, months later, agreed to attend a therapy session, with our children and their therapist. During the session our daughter explained to him that she wanted to first rebuild their relationship and second wanted to spend alone time with her father. He kept saying over and over “If you see me you see (he would say the girlfriend’s name)”. Our daughter asked him why he would not spend time with her without his girlfriend and he just sat there stone faced and emotionless, as our daughter cried. The therapist finally said to him “your daughter is asking you a question, can you please answer her and explain to her why you will not see her without your girlfriend” He finally answered and said with his arms folded on top of his belly “I will not exclude the most important person in my life” My daughter shrieked “WHAT?” My heart broke in a million pieces. The therapist said to him “Your children are the most important thing in your life” and his reply was “I answered you I will not exclude my girlfriend, as she is the most important person in my life” My daughter was crying so uncontrollably and my heart was breaking piece by piece for her. As I am sitting there, listening to this coming from her father’s mouth, listening to her crying, where she couldn’t almost breathe, I felt completely helpless. I couldn’t believe that their father was sitting there and telling his children, they were not the most important thing in his life!
Our son would continue to see his father, with his girlfriend and her son. This would cause problems between my son and daughter, as my daughter felt betrayed by her brother, when he would go with them. I continued to try to reach out to my ex and explain how she felt and the problems it was causing between our children, but I would receive the same reply, I had no right to tell him how to parent. What he didn’t and still doesn’t get, is that I was trying to explain what I was hearing and dealing with. I was trying to ask him to co-parent with me. I was trying to help him, with information, so maybe he could resolve the problem. I have learned he has anger, lots of it towards me and I don’t know why.
The problems only became worse, as Father’s Day, my son’s graduation and many other life events for our children happened.
I will continue this story, even get into the then girlfriend, now wife’s take on all this. It blows my mind, how a mother could think the way she does and how she could be with a man, that treats his children the way he does. The only explanation, that makes sense is that he is treating her son, way better than his children. That she is afraid if he actually has a relationship with his children, her son wouldn’t be benefiting from all the vacations, presents, etc., that he does now. As my children haven’t received anything, but a very small gift card at Christmas, from their father, in the last five years. Her and her son on the other hand, have been on four vacations within the last year, one week in Universal, a week in Las Vegas, a cruise and a week in Disney World, with my ex.
I now have lost all respect for her, not just as a mom, but as a person. I have also lost all respect for his family, as they are aware of what he has and what he continues to do to their, niece/nephew/cousin and say nothing to him about it. They even have gone so far as to tell me, that they think he is the most wonderful brother/uncle there is.
To be continued……

Why can some parents get along and others refuse? 

Post One…..

Why is it that during and after divorce some parents can get along and others can not. My ex and I actually got along better after we decided to divorce, then when we were married. Yes we hit some bumps in the road along the way, but we were able to talk and work them out better during the divorce then when we were married. That all changed when he started dating this one woman. He began to put pressure on the kids to meet her. Then he dropped the bomb on me, after we had an agreement in place and even went before a judge with. The judge wanted some things spelled out more in our agreement and we both agreed to meet with an attorney we met in court to write out the agreement the way the judge wanted. He then began to avoid me and I could feel in my gut something was up. He then called me and left a voicemail on a June day while I was in work, yes a voicemail, that he was moving out of the mother in law suite in the family home, he had retained an attorney and our agreement was void. My first reaction was how were our children going to handle that their father was breaking a promise to them, yet again. My second thought was, how does he have the money to obtain a lawyer. In our original agreement, we were splitting the mortgage and household bills, I was getting the portion of his pension I was entitled to, he would put $200 in each child’s bank account each month, we would split any debt and I would take $1, yes one whole dollar of alimony. You may say why a dollar, but the judge insisted on it, as if I refused alimony, I could never get alimony. He threw this agreement out the window. He told me he would be giving me the portion of his pension, $601.00 in alimony, $810.00 in child support and would only see the kids on Wednesday nights from 4pm – 8pm, didn’t want time on their birthdays and the only holiday he wanted the children was Christmas Eve. He agreed we would tell the children together, that he was moving out. I accepted this even though it was killing me, knowing our children wouldn’t take it well.

 June, July went by and we were into August. I would ask my ex once a week, when he was moving out and he would give me the same answer, “I don’t know I’m still working it out, when I know you will know” Then he took the kids to Washington DC and when I talked to them each night to say good night, they were very quiet and I could tell something was wrong. When they returned home they didn’t say much. I asked them how their trip was and they both said ok, but didn’t say much. Then finally it came out, the kids told me, on the way to Washington DC their father told them he was moving out in September. They asked me not to tell their father they had told me, as he told them not to tell me he had told them. I didn’t tell their father they had told me, but asked him yet again if he knew when he was moving out and I received the same answer he had been giving me. Then I asked when he planned on telling our children and his answer was “I can’t answer that at this time” He looked right at me and lied to my face, as he had done so many times before.

 Labor Day weekend 2014, the children were with their father and I went to a friends. I came home Sunday night and didn’t see the ex’s car in the driveway, but didn’t think anything of it, as he would leave and go out, on a Sunday night before I returned home. Then by Wednesday I thought to myself, boy I haven’t seen his car, but it wasn’t his week for the children, as at that point and time we had an every other week, custody arrangement, even though technically we lived under one roof. Then the kids came to me and told me that their father moved out Labor Day weekend. I went downstairs and the door to his area wasn’t locked, I opened it and everything of his was gone. I text him and his reply back was “I told you I was moving out in September and I don’t have to answer to you any more” I was furious, not for myself, but for my children. He tells them as they are driving to a mini vacation and moves out when I am not home, while our children are there.

 He stopped communicating with me, talk to the children less and less. I would get furious and try and talk to him and his answer every time was “if you can’t handle being a parent, then I will take the kids and you will pay me child support” I would tell him over and over again, it wasn’t that I couldn’t handle being a parent, but I want him to be a parent. Him and that girlfriend broke up and shortly after another girlfriend came along. He right away tried to force her on our children. My son didn’t care and he met her, but our daughter didn’t want to meet her.

The next girlfriend, who now is his second wife, next post…..

My daughter’s view on College so far….

College
I really like college so far. I never thought that it would be a difficult transition because I’ve been waiting to go to college for a long time. This has been a dream of mine since, well honestly since my parents divorce. Since the divorce made me grow up, all I wanted to do is move on. The divorce was messy and all I wanted to do was move on. We might of moved houses, but I felt like I really couldn’t move on until I was on my own. College made me on my own in a way, I feel like I can make decisions for myself and do what I want to an extent. I didn’t have trouble transitioning to college. I tried to become a new person. In high school I wasn’t a popular person, all my life I was bullied, it stopped in high school, but people never forget things that were said and I didn’t want people to talk to me really. I have only a handful of friends, but they were close friends that were amazing. In college I thought things could be different because no one would know me so I can change. I was wrong though I couldn’t change myself and I don’t know why I was trying to change myself. One thing I do need to fix is my confidence. I never had confidence and that needs to change or I won’t be able to do things. At the beginning of the year everything starts and that’s when you sign up for things and get involved. My personal suggestion is to sign up for everything you want to, even if you’re scared. I tried out for something and I didn’t get it, I didn’t have the confidence in myself enough to get it. Don’t let not getting one thing get you down. You can get upset by it, but don’t let it get you down for everything else. College will change you but don’t let it change everything about you, just enjoy yourself and be yourself and things will happen.

Welomce comments, questions, etc….

As you read any and all my blogs if you have any questions, comments, topics you want me to write on, please let me know…..I welcome all positive, negative and anywhere in between….or feel free to email me at faple0818@gmail.com 

Thank you for reading.