Love your children no matter what their life choice…

When my son told me that him and his girlfriend were expecting a child, he thought I would yell, scream and lecture him. I didn’t and would never do any of those things, as it wouldn’t change a thing and be pointless. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but something like ok I’m here for you guys and we will figure it all out and then hug my son and told him I loved him. He was blown away, he said it wasn’t the reaction he was expecting and that I’m the best mom in the world. I said no I’m just being your mom.

I lost my first child, my son was premature and we were told he probably wouldn’t live 24 hours. My daughter was born three years later, without any birth control and then I was told I couldn’t have any more children. When my daughter was almost three I needed a hysterectomy. I am thankful and blessed, I was able to have the two children I have, as many can’t have any children.

We raise our children to be good kids, we try and prepare them for the big scary world we live in today. All we can do is teach them right from wrong and our best to instill our values in them. There are times we need to let them make their own choices and even mistakes. As parents, I feel we have to let go here and there, yet guide them. We also need to be supportive, loving and encouraging parents. We may not like the choices our children make at times in their lives, but as long as they are happy, aren’t doing something illegal and/or harmful to themselves or others, we have to let them be their own person and find their way in this world. We may not understand it, we may not like it, we may disapprove, it may not be the choice(s) we would have made, but as their parents even though we may not like it, we have to except it. Some parents have told me no I don’t, well to them I say, are you willing to lose your child because you don’t like or approve of their life choices?

I may not have liked the timing of my son and his girlfriend having a child, but every child is a gift and blessing from God. How could I not be happy about a new life coming into this world and my first grandchild! My sons girlfriend is an amazing young woman! Shortly after he met her he told me she was the one for him. She had to earn my trust, acceptance and love, as any parent can tell you, no one is good enough for their child. She has shown me what a wonderful, sweet and amazing person she is and I know her and my son will make amazing parents. As a parent I will do whatever I can to help them and my granddaughter. I will continue to be a loving, supportive and encouraging parent and also grandparent.

We made the choice to bring our children into this world, they didn’t asked to be born and each and every one of them is a gift from God. So no matter if you approve or not, or what choices or path they take in life, remember support, encourage and love your children no matter what!

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Kids come first!

Kids come first no matter what…I am in a situation where my x put his gf’s, now new wife and her son before his own children. If I was ever with someone who put me or my children before their own children or even family, I would walk away from them. Anyone that would ask you to put them before your kids and/or family, is someone who is selfish and me personally, I would never be with.

Some people will use their kids as a pawn or excuse. They claim they deserve to have a life, WRONG answer! Your children did not ask to be born, you choose to have children. I know some who believe once they turn 18, well they no longer need their parents around, as they feel they are adults, WRONG answer again! I have seen children whose parents, walked away, put others first, etc and some of those children have acted out, get into trouble, as they have to much freedom and time without a parent or parents around. Yes our children need freedom, but they also need guidance, a parent that not only tells them they love them, but shows them they do. When a daughter is no longer daddy’s little girl, a son dad’s pal and dad puts a woman first, the child no matter the age, will feel hurt and rejected. It’s the same when a son is no longer mommy’s boy, a daughter her best gal, because mom puts a man first, again the child, no matter the age, will feel hurt and rejected.

Do we deserve to be happy, yes, but not at the expense of our children. We need to schedule our lives around our children and not schedule our children around our lives.

I have been had men tell me I use my kids as an excuse not to see them, not true! Yes my daughter is away at college and my son lives with his girlfriend, so I don’t sit home waiting for them to make plans with me, but if they need me, I will be there for them. My children and I text each other good morning every day, call or text good night every night and talk at least once a day on the phone, even if it’s a quick minute conversation. No I’m not a helicopter mom! I treat my kids like the adults they are, but also let them know I love them and I’m here for them. People are shocked that my children actually want to hang out with me and spend time with me. Not only do my children, but also their friends do too. I don’t talk at my kids, I talk to them, I don’t tell them what to do, I tell them what I would do. If they ask me I give my opinion and sometimes when they don’t ask lol. Am I perfect? Not even close! But when you show your kids love, you get love! Never use them as a weapon or a excuse!

Out of something bad, always comes something good….

My aunt has always told me out of something bad comes something good. This has been proven to me to be true many times.

My ex husband walked away from his children little by little and now doesn’t exist in their lives. This helped me to be stronger, become even closer to my children and to help me grow, as a person. It helped me, after some time, to realize sometimes, as much as we want to, some things are out of our control and we just have to accept them and move on. Also, some people will walk away from you, when things get tough, when you lose control, lose your way, instead of being there for you. The people that truly love you, will tell you not what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. They will stand by you, help you find your way, be the shoulder to cry on, ear to listen and just be there for you. Some people step up in a way that amazes you, they step in and not to replace the absent father in my children’s lives, but to be a supportive and encouraging for person to them.

When things get tough you can either give up or stand up and fight. I have been knocked down, pushed around, bullied, made to believe I can’t do this and I’m not worthy of certain things and people. I let these negative people get me down at times, believed their hurtful words, even broke down and cried many times. The main thing is that I didn’t stay down, I got back up, fought back or walked away. I learned some people aren’t worth my breathe, time or energy. This took me time to learn, as it bothered me when someone would say these things or think badly of me. They can say or believe what they want, as I have learned their opinions do not matter, as I only have to answer to myself and my children. I have learned some may think something I am doing is wrong, but as long as I don’t feel it is, it makes me happy and I am not hurting anyone, then let them talk, it’s just words and their problem not mine. I have and will continue to prove the negative people wrong!

So out of all the bad, negative and disappointments I have faced, I have and continue to become a stronger better me, so that’s a good thing. Remember people will knock you down, as long as you keep getting up, they don’t win, you do!

Proud!!!

It isn’t easy raising teenagers alone, I was so stressed, wondered if I was doing it right, especially since I was constantly being told by some people I was wrong how I was doing things, after the divorce. Well my daughter has been facing her social anxiety fears at College, volunteering, working, going outside her comfort zone and really doing amazing. I found out yesterday that my daughter, who I was already so proud of, made the Deans Honor list. I am beyond proud of her! This for me tells me I did one great job with my children and I am truly blessed to have two amazing children! I am living all alone these days while she is at school. Well not all alone, I have my two dogs lol My son comes by and he also is so amazing! He does so much for me and I know when he becomes a dad in May he will be one amazing dad, as I raised him to be!

AMAZING 2018!!!

Taking a break for a bit…Hope everyone has a happy, healthy New Year filled with amazing people and things, health happiness and love!!!

The Book

So many people have told me that I need to write a book and I have started and stopped, started and stopped one, last night I wrote and wrote….I hope by the end of 2018 to have it published……look for it….

Reflecting on the past year…

As Christmas approaches and the year comes to an end, I reflect back on the past year. I am so thankful for my children, they drive me crazy at times, but make me so proud every single day, to be their mother! I have family and friends that we have had our ups and downs, but through it all they are there for me and I am there for them. I have said good bye to some and some have said good bye to me, this year. I truly believe everyone comes into our lives for a reason, so whether they are still in my life or have walked away, I am still thankful for every single one of them. Some good byes break your heart, but sometimes it’s better to say good bye and move on. Some good byes you didn’t want, but for some reason they did. The holidays are tough, especially when you are alone. I am a very independent person, but do like having that special friend. I love my kids with all my heart, but as they get older, are molding their own lives, I am grateful for my friends and family, but also enjoy my alone time. I am hoping this year brings all my family, friends, but most of all, my children, health, happiness and great things. I will be receiving the most precious gift of all in 2018, my first grandchild, a little baby girl. I pray she will be healthy and happy always.

I wish everyone a great Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza or whatever holiday you celebrate. Also a Happy and Healthy New Year!!!!