Take a chance and say yes….

Sometimes in life you just have to take a chance. You need to not think, just do it. You need to live in and enjoy the moment. You can’t over think it, just enjoy. Don’t worry about tomorrow, next week, next month, etc., just enjoy today. Take one day at a time and in time see what happens. You need to take that walk, go to that dinner and just enjoy the moment you are in. I am good at telling others to live in the moment, as life is to short, but can’t always take my own advice. So take that walk along the ocean, enjoy the company, the smell of the ocean and sound of the waves. Go to dinner, enjoy the food, the company, laugh and eat to much.

Sometimes we need to do things that are outside our comfort zone. In life you never know what will happen unless you take a chance. So go ahead and say yes to something and see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised or you may not, but unless you say yes, you will never know.

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Some things you just explain…

Sometimes you can’t explain your relationship/friendship or just what a person means to you. They are the first person you want to tell good news, bad news and everything in between. They are someone you have shared your deepest darkest secrets with, told them things you haven’t shared with another person. You have shared your hopes, fears, and everything in between. They are someone you could talk with, laugh with or just walk with for hours. They are someone you can have fights with, not talk to for a while, not see for awhile, but when you talk or see each other again, it’s as if no time had passed.

When you meet someone and for some reason you and that person just click, it’s like you have been friends forever, like you were meant to meet and become friends. From the moment you met them, you felt comfortable with them, trusted them to share any and all things and knew they would be a forever friend. You knew this would be someone that you could count on, would be there for you when you needed them and you for them. They say that everyone comes into your life for a reason and even though at the time when you met them, you didn’t know why you met them, but in time it will become clear to you, why you did. At times some people will not understand your friendship, but it’s something special between two people that can’t be explained. Some of it can’t be explained, because you can’t tell people the things you have shared, the things they have done for you and the bond the two of you share. Also you, yourself at times, can’t explain the bond between you and this person. I think a bond/connection with someone like this is something that isn’t something anyone can explain.

I have lost a couple of very dear friends and loved ones way to soon. I feel some of the people I have met through them, after they have passed and that some people were sent to me by friends and loved ones that have past on. I feel these people have not taken the place of the person that passed, but were sent to help fill the void of the person I lost and to watch over me.

So when you meet someone and can’t explain the immediate connection with them, don’t try, just look up and say thank you, as they were probably sent from someone in your life that you lost.

Change, never easy…..

I found for most people and even myself, at times that growth and change aren’t easy and can be sometimes be painful. Even thought you may not be able to see it, it’s not as painful as staying or being stuck in a situation you don’t want to or belong in. People are afraid of change and the truth. They are afraid of how people will react, also afraid sometimes to face or admit the truth to themselves.

As hard as change is, we constantly have change in our lives. Change happens from the time of birth and is a never ending series of changes. If there was never change, we would not grow from babies to toddler, from toddlers to young people and so on. Change sometimes is good, sometimes teaches us something, sometimes isn’t what we wanted or expected, but change will happen constantly through our lives.

When someone dies, leaves us or is no longer in our life, it’s a big change. We can take this change and accept it, learn from it and move on. This doesn’t mean we have to forget that person or like the change, but it has happened and there usually is nothing we can do to change what has happened. We need to remember that person, what they taught us, how they loved us and how our life would not have been the same without them. Remember the good thing in life with them. It maybe be hard to imagine life without them or maybe see life without them at the time. Whether they passed away or walked away, remember the good times and smile, as you may not have been the person you are today if they weren’t in your life.

So although most of the time change isn’t welcome, we didn’t want it, we were afraid of it or even if we wanted it, change is scary. Look at change as a lesson, you growing as a person and learning something new. Whether you are learning to live without someone or something, you might not be able to see it when the change happens, but you will grow and accept it over time.

What would you do if it was your last day….

Did or do you have that one person, no matter what, they get your juices flowing, can turn your frown upside down and their smile, their voice, their laugh, a simple conversation, a text, etc., as you have such an amazing sexual, physical, friendship connection, that no matter what they do it turns you on. It’s something you can’t explain. I think this is rare and most people I have talked to, say there was or is one person that all around does it for them. Some aren’t with that person, never were with them and some married that person. Sometimes it’s not their looks, it’s the way they have about them, their personality, just something or everything about them that just turns you on, as you feel such a connection to them. They are the first person you think of when you have news, something great happens, something sad or upsetting happens, etc, as you just want to share with them, you know they will make a good thing even better and a sad thing hurt less. You know they understand, will be there, emotionally, even if they can’t physically. If you are lucky enough to find that person, hold on to them, even if it’s just a friend, as we all need someone we can count on.

Tonight I did one of those silly things on Facebook and it said that I need my children. That everything I do is to leave a good legacy for my children. They are the reason I never give up, even sometimes when it’s difficult. That I fight like a lioness, for my children’s happiness. This is so very true, but I also fight and never give up on those I love. I want the ones I love to also have happiness! Everyone deserves happiness! If you truly love someone you want them happy no matter what!

I had a professor who said “do everything as if it’s the last time you will do it” So when you are afraid to do something, not sure if you should do something, think what you would do if it was your last day on this earth. You will then have your answer to most questions, situations or dilemmas you face.

Special People

Today was one of the worse days of my life…to receive a call and someone telling you good bye and then watching and listening to paramedics, then nurses and doctors try to save someone you love…that day was the worse, hardest and shocking day of my life! I discovered who the people who loved and cared for me were that day and over time….without them I could have never got through it…they text, called and checked on me to make sure I was doing ok! The two people that were my rocks, were my kids! They hugged me and said nothing, did sweet things for me, as did so many others. My kids have tried every year to make this day a happy memory and today I sit on the train headed to meet my daughter for our first Knicks game….to all who were, are and will always be there for me….THANKS!!!

Breadcrumbs……

First if you don’t know what this means it means when we send flirtatious, yet non-committal messages or set very general plans, but never following through.

For these people dating may not be a priority, they don’t want to hurt your feelings, they want a quick ego boost, they are feeling guilty, they miss you, to keep in touch without seeing you, they are lonely, they don’t want to completely lose you, they are just looking for a booty call, they are scared to commit and some don’t even realize they are doing it.

When this happens it gives the person they are sending the breadcrumbs to, a false sense of hope. It makes them think maybe they are truly interested in some sort of relationship with them. I myself was guilty of this, as they filled a void for me, at the time. I realized this wasn’t fair to the person I was bread-crumbing, so now I cut them off and block them so I’m not tempted to breadcrumb them.

This leads me to the question, do we allow ourselves to be breadcrumbed, as we are hopeful they will realize what an amazing person we are and how there is no one out there like us, so we hold on. Is this healthy? Is this fantasy and not reality? Does it ruin how we see others we meet? It usually is that person we can’t seem to say good bye to, we can’t imagine them not being in our life, yet wonder if them being in our life is clouding and ruining our judgement and feelings of others. I have talked to several people and some cut the person out, admitted it was hard to do and they miss them, but as time went on missed them less and less and found someone to make them happy. They admitted they think about them and wonder what they didn’t have that the other person wanted, that they didn’t want them.

Life is not a dress rehearsal, but sometimes we act out the same scene over and over, as we hope to land the part, yet over and over we are told we aren’t right for the part. Do we give up, try a new scene, land a different part? Or do we hang in there and hope that some day we land our dream part?

Some follow their dreams and never give up, others give it a try and after a while go in a new direction.

Valentines Day….

Most of this is from last year with some changes, as I liked it. As this year I have a Valentine I guess you would say…I could careless if I went out tonight, as I feel things are over priced and not as good, as they try for volume. I will go enjoy and treat it like any other date. Hope everyone enjoys their day…

I have to say I was never a real big fan of Valentine’s Day. I have always felt it seemed silly that people needed a holiday, to make them tell and show people they love and care about, how they felt. The people in my life, shouldn’t need a holiday to tell and show me how they feel. I feel every day we should show and tell the people in our lives, how special they are. I’m not saying I want gifts and flowers every day. I feel there are many ways in which we can show and tell people just how special they are to us, without flowers and gifts. My kids one year ask me what I wanted and I told them, I would love it if you would clean my car. They thought I was kidding, but I wasn’t. I feel doing something for someone, making something, giving them a hug, taking a walk with them or sending them a simple text to tell them how special they are, is the most priceless gift you can give someone. I want to be surprised with flowers for no reason. A romantic dinner for no reason. A weekend away just the two of us. A night in, cuddled on the couch, watching a movie. I am a person that enjoys and appreciates the simple things in life. I feel the most precious and priceless things, aren’t things and cost little or no money. The most precious of all things someone can give, is their time. I feel anyone can spend a lot of money and put no effort or thought into a gift. The most precious gifts I have received were homemade and/or with a lot of work and thought put into them. One of the best gifts I received from my children, was a basket full of me things. It was all my favorite things I liked to do, gift cards for a manicure/pedicure, a massage, Starbucks and my favorite shower gel and lotion from Bath and Body Works. This year for Christmas my favorite gift was a mug the says “I Love You To The Moon And Back” from my kids, as I say that to them all the time. Another was a friend took me to dinner and dancing to celebrate my 50th birthday. It was a night of great conversation, company and laughs. I ate more than I should, danced more than I should and stayed out later than I should, but enjoyed myself and had fun. All of these were such sweet and thoughtful gifts. So everyone needs to show the special people in their lives, how special they are, not just because a holiday tells us to, but because we want too!

I have lost too many people in my life, way too soon and unexpectedly. Sometimes we don’t have as much time with the people closest to us, as we thought or would have wanted. Remember no tomorrow is guaranteed!