Breadcrumbs……

First if you don’t know what this means it means when we send flirtatious, yet non-committal messages or set very general plans, but never following through.

For these people dating may not be a priority, they don’t want to hurt your feelings, they want a quick ego boost, they are feeling guilty, they miss you, to keep in touch without seeing you, they are lonely, they don’t want to completely lose you, they are just looking for a booty call, they are scared to commit and some don’t even realize they are doing it.

When this happens it gives the person they are sending the breadcrumbs to, a false sense of hope. It makes them think maybe they are truly interested in some sort of relationship with them. I myself was guilty of this, as they filled a void for me, at the time. I realized this wasn’t fair to the person I was bread-crumbing, so now I cut them off and block them so I’m not tempted to breadcrumb them.

This leads me to the question, do we allow ourselves to be breadcrumbed, as we are hopeful they will realize what an amazing person we are and how there is no one out there like us, so we hold on. Is this healthy? Is this fantasy and not reality? Does it ruin how we see others we meet? It usually is that person we can’t seem to say good bye to, we can’t imagine them not being in our life, yet wonder if them being in our life is clouding and ruining our judgement and feelings of others. I have talked to several people and some cut the person out, admitted it was hard to do and they miss them, but as time went on missed them less and less and found someone to make them happy. They admitted they think about them and wonder what they didn’t have that the other person wanted, that they didn’t want them.

Life is not a dress rehearsal, but sometimes we act out the same scene over and over, as we hope to land the part, yet over and over we are told we aren’t right for the part. Do we give up, try a new scene, land a different part? Or do we hang in there and hope that some day we land our dream part?

Some follow their dreams and never give up, others give it a try and after a while go in a new direction.

Advertisements

Why play games just be honest…..

Why do so many feel the need to hide the truth, play games and not be honest! Yesterday was a year ago that I buried a dear friend, who was taken way to soon. So again, it’s a reminder that life is to short sometimes, so don’t spend it playing games, be honest with people, especially the ones you care about and love! And the ones that care about and love you! Don’t waste time with people you shouldn’t, just because you feel bad, don’t sweat the small stuff and most importantly, don’t hurt the ones that love and care for you, have always and will always be there for you, no matter what. They are the ones that if you haven’t spoke. In a day, week, month or years, you know you call them, they will be there for you!

Why can’t everyone be up front and honest???

When getting divorced you sometimes realize or discover how much debt you really are in. I myself had a very eye opening experience, as to how much debt I really was in, when I started my divorce process. I also discovered how financially irresponsible, sneaky and dishonest my x was. He felt if you avoid a problem, it will just go away, when in reality, it makes it worse and in some cases, causes you even more debt.

I worked an average of 30 hours at a part time job in addition to my full time job. I don’t make a lot of money, but I’m a very budgeted person. I feel I am so much richer in family, friends, honesty and heart.

I have met man that when the check came, they claimed to just have discovered that they forgot or lost their wallet. Some the day of our date would text me they lost their wallet or their account was frozen, as someone hacked their account. Can these things happen, yes, but in most of these cases, I doubt it. I met a guy who explained he was laid off his job, started his own business and money was very tight for him. I had more respect for him, then someone making up a story, OK lying. I have met guys renting a room, who have moved back with their parents, moved in with his sibling or friends, as these men did not want to over extend their budget. I have more respect for them, for first being honest and second for being financially responsible. Some men are paying, alimony, child support and/or part of the household expenses that their children live in. I am an understanding woman, but come out and be honest from the beginning about your finances. If a woman will only be with you because of the size of your bank account, move on. I can tell you what is important is how a man treats me, if we have a physical, emotional connection and if I can have an intelligent conversation with him. If all you are looking for is sex, be honest, as I am sure there are some women out there that is all they are looking for, also. Everyone is entitled to what they like and want. I have had men say to me, do you know how long it has been since I had sex, I want it, I need it. My answer is well get to know me and in time if we connect that may happen, but don’t push the issue, as for me that’s a big turn off and if will be even longer before you have sex again.

Is it nice to have a man, be a gentleman, take you to dinner and treat, yes. We are in 2018, so I feel yes, in the beginning a gentleman should pay, but as time goes on, the relationship progresses, then maybe he pays for dinner and I pay for the movie or he treats one time and you treat another. I love to cook, so when we get to that point, then I would enjoy cooking for a man, especially if he cooks with me or even better yet, he cleans up 🙂

Just be honest, as I can’t speak for others, but for me that’s all I want and will have so much more respect for an honest man. These men, I feel, think we are stupid and are going to fall for their lines. I will admit, when I was first dating after my divorce I did, but live and learn!

Meeting NOT a date…..

Ok went on a meeting last night, yes I call them meetings not dates. It lasted 45 minutes and here is why….He doesn’t have a job, isn’t looking for a job, has to sell his house and going to buy a camper van and go from friend to friends driveway, has to quit drinking, diabetic and sugar out of control, has sued every employer he has ever worked for, that’s what he lives off, was just circumcised in October, can take a lot of pain, etc….People ask me why I will not meet for dinner the first time, this was 45 minutes, I couldn’t imagine sitting through dinner. It gets better, he insists on walking me to my car, I was nice I hugged him, thanked him for the coffee and he attacked my neck, I pushed him away and he went in for a full open mouth kiss. In what world did this guy think that this “meeting” went well???

I have decided I need to come up with a list of questions before I even meet a guy….here is my list….

1. Are you divorced and can you supply the JOD if needed?

2. Do you have a drivers license?

3. Do you own a car? Is that car in your possession?

4. Do you have your own place? Sleep on a friends couch? Sleep in your car or a van?

5. Do you do drugs?

6. Do you smoke pot?

7. Do you have a drinking problem?

8. What is your religion? Can you date and be in a relationship, other than with God in your religion?

9. Are you any kind of relationship with another?

10. Do you like animals? Are you allergic to dogs?

ME:

1. Yes

2. Yes

3. Yes and yes

4. Yes – No – No

5. No

6. No

7. No

8. Catholic and Yes

9. No

10. Yes love them and no

Living alone….

For the first time in my life I’m living alone. My son has moved to his girlfriends, as they are having a baby in May. My daughter is away at College. I’m not totally alone, I have my two dogs, so I’m not totally alone. It has been an adjustment for me and the dogs. I have to allow extra time in the morning to feed the dogs and let them out, before work. The dogs are use to my son coming home very late or being up late hours, so they have been waking me at all different hours. I will admit I feel exhausted, like when my kids were little. I’m sure they will get use to the new schedule in time, but as soon as they do, my daughter will be home in May from school lol. I was ordering my meals from a place that makes healthy, fresh meals, but they went out of business this week 😦 My son comes by during the day if he has time and lets the dogs out and sometimes takes a nap. I’m sure once my granddaughter arrives those naps will be more often lol. I sometimes forget that although I live alone, I do have windows and neighbors that can see in lol. I am enjoying the peace and quiet, but do miss my kids, sometimes. I will admit it is lonely at times, but for now I am enjoying it. I fill my time, keep busy, but my kids have always and will always come first!

Cecilia’s Secret Side….

I have taken a break from posting and have been focusing on me and my book writing….I have vowed that this is the year I will finish at least one of my books I have started and I have been writing away and so excited, as I am limitless….sorry for the lack of posts but creative juices have been flowing and have to finish what I started….

AMAZING 2018!!!

Taking a break for a bit…Hope everyone has a happy, healthy New Year filled with amazing people and things, health happiness and love!!!