Why do so many feel the need to hide the truth, play games and not be honest! Yesterday was a year ago that I burned a dear friend, who was taken way to soon. So again, it’s a reminder that life is to short sometimes, so don’t spend it playing games, be honest with people, especially the ones you care about and love! And the ones that care about and love you! Don’t waste time with people you shouldn’t, just because you feel bad, don’t sweat the small stuff and most importantly, don’t hurt the ones that love and care for you, have always and will always be there for you, no matter what. They are the ones that if you haven’t spoke. In a day, week, month or years, you know you call them, they will be there for you!
When getting divorced you sometimes realize or discover how much debt you really are in. I myself had a very eye opening experience, as to how much debt I really was in, when I started my divorce process. I also discovered how financially irresponsible, sneaky and dishonest my x was. He felt if you avoid a problem, it will just go away, when in reality, it makes it worse and in some cases, causes you even more debt.
I worked an average of 30 hours at a part time job in addition to my full time job. I don’t make a lot of money, but I’m a very budgeted person. I feel I am so much richer in family, friends, honesty and heart.
I have met man that when the check came, they claimed to just have discovered that they forgot or lost their wallet. Some the day of our date would text me they lost their wallet or their account was frozen, as someone hacked their account. Can these things happen, yes, but in most of these cases, I doubt it. I met a guy who explained he was laid off his job, started his own business and money was very tight for him. I had more respect for him, then someone making up a story, OK lying. I have met guys renting a room, who have moved back with their parents, moved in with his sibling or friends, as these men did not want to over extend their budget. I have more respect for them, for first being honest and second for being financially responsible. Some men are paying, alimony, child support and/or part of the household expenses that their children live in. I am an understanding woman, but come out and be honest from the beginning about your finances. If a woman will only be with you because of the size of your bank account, move on. I can tell you what is important is how a man treats me, if we have a physical, emotional connection and if I can have an intelligent conversation with him. If all you are looking for is sex, be honest, as I am sure there are some women out there that is all they are looking for, also. Everyone is entitled to what they like and want. I have had men say to me, do you know how long it has been since I had sex, I want it, I need it. My answer is well get to know me and in time if we connect that may happen, but don’t push the issue, as for me that’s a big turn off and if will be even longer before you have sex again.
Is it nice to have a man, be a gentleman, take you to dinner and treat, yes. We are in 2018, so I feel yes, in the beginning a gentleman should pay, but as time goes on, the relationship progresses, then maybe he pays for dinner and I pay for the movie or he treats one time and you treat another. I love to cook, so when we get to that point, then I would enjoy cooking for a man, especially if he cooks with me or even better yet, he cleans up 🙂
Just be honest, as I can’t speak for others, but for me that’s all I want and will have so much more respect for an honest man. These men, I feel, think we are stupid and are going to fall for their lines. I will admit, when I was first dating after my divorce I did, but live and learn!
Ok went on a meeting last night, yes I call them meetings not dates. It lasted 45 minutes and here is why….He doesn’t have a job, isn’t looking for a job, has to sell his house and going to buy a camper van and go from friend to friends driveway, has to quit drinking, diabetic and sugar out of control, has sued every employer he has ever worked for, that’s what he lives off, was just circumcised in October, can take a lot of pain, etc….People ask me why I will not meet for dinner the first time, this was 45 minutes, I couldn’t imagine sitting through dinner. It gets better, he insists on walking me to my car, I was nice I hugged him, thanked him for the coffee and he attacked my neck, I pushed him away and he went in for a full open mouth kiss. In what world did this guy think that this “meeting” went well???
I have decided I need to come up with a list of questions before I even meet a guy….here is my list….
1. Are you divorced and can you supply the JOD if needed?
2. Do you have a drivers license?
3. Do you own a car? Is that car in your possession?
4. Do you have your own place? Sleep on a friends couch? Sleep in your car or a van?
5. Do you do drugs?
6. Do you smoke pot?
7. Do you have a drinking problem?
8. What is your religion? Can you date and be in a relationship, other than with God in your religion?
9. Are you any kind of relationship with another?
10. Do you like animals? Are you allergic to dogs?
3. Yes and yes
4. Yes – No – No
8. Catholic and Yes
10. Yes love them and no
For the first time in my life I’m living alone. My son has moved to his girlfriends, as they are having a baby in May. My daughter is away at College. I’m not totally alone, I have my two dogs, so I’m not totally alone. It has been an adjustment for me and the dogs. I have to allow extra time in the morning to feed the dogs and let them out, before work. The dogs are use to my son coming home very late or being up late hours, so they have been waking me at all different hours. I will admit I feel exhausted, like when my kids were little. I’m sure they will get use to the new schedule in time, but as soon as they do, my daughter will be home in May from school lol. I was ordering my meals from a place that makes healthy, fresh meals, but they went out of business this week 😦 My son comes by during the day if he has time and lets the dogs out and sometimes takes a nap. I’m sure once my granddaughter arrives those naps will be more often lol. I sometimes forget that although I live alone, I do have windows and neighbors that can see in lol. I am enjoying the peace and quiet, but do miss my kids, sometimes. I will admit it is lonely at times, but for now I am enjoying it. I fill my time, keep busy, but my kids have always and will always come first!
I have taken a break from posting and have been focusing on me and my book writing….I have vowed that this is the year I will finish at least one of my books I have started and I have been writing away and so excited, as I am limitless….sorry for the lack of posts but creative juices have been flowing and have to finish what I started….
Taking a break for a bit…Hope everyone has a happy, healthy New Year filled with amazing people and things, health happiness and love!!!
Christmas Eve we went to see “It’s a Wonderful Life” in the movie theater. As the angel shows George what life for others, would have been like, if he never was born. I wondered how my life would have been different, if I hadn’t met certain people in my life. I wondered how their lives would have been different. I wondered how my life would have been, if I went through with calling off my engagement and never getting married. I wondered if I would have married someday, someone else or if I would have had children. I can’t imagine not having my two children, not being in my life. I also, can’t imagine myself, if I hadn’t met the people that I have. Even if these people are no longer in my life, they came into my life for a reason. Some changed me, taught me something, inspired me in some way and/or blessed me. I would also like to think that I also affected their lives in some way.
One friend would always call the men I have met my flock. Yes I have gone on a lot of first dates, maybe some second, even some third ones and sometimes several with the same guy. I can’t say I regret one of them, as each and everyone of them, helped me to figure out the kind of person I wanted in my life and the ones that I don’t. Like the saying goes “you have to kiss a lot of frogs”. Well I haven’t kissed a lot, but I have talk to, hugged and even ran from some lol. Dating or going on meetings, as I call them, online dating, may not be for everyone. Some feel going on a bunch of dates or meetings, isn’t for them or they just don’t have the time for it. Others don’t like change, stay in a marriage, relationship or situation, as they are afraid of change, the unknown or being alone. I stayed in my marriage way longer than I should have and also, have sometimes gone on way more dates than I should have, with the same person. I have also talk text or met guys, I didn’t feel were necessarily for me, but gave them a chance. I have had guys that I didn’t feel that romantic connection with, but became friends with. Some I communicated for awhile and others I couldn’t wait to run away from lol.
I feel people and lives mold who we are, teach us and make us the person we are today or will become. Some change us for the better and others, not so much. We need to remember everyone we meet or that comes into our lives, does so for a reason or lesson. They teach us something, sometimes positive and sometimes negative.
So thank the people that have touch you, molded you, taught you about who you want to be, taught you the kind of things you are willing and not willing to accept, that inspired you or changed you in some way.