Take a chance and say yes….

Sometimes in life you just have to take a chance. You need to not think, just do it. You need to live in and enjoy the moment. You can’t over think it, just enjoy. Don’t worry about tomorrow, next week, next month, etc., just enjoy today. Take one day at a time and in time see what happens. You need to take that walk, go to that dinner and just enjoy the moment you are in. I am good at telling others to live in the moment, as life is to short, but can’t always take my own advice. So take that walk along the ocean, enjoy the company, the smell of the ocean and sound of the waves. Go to dinner, enjoy the food, the company, laugh and eat to much.

Sometimes we need to do things that are outside our comfort zone. In life you never know what will happen unless you take a chance. So go ahead and say yes to something and see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised or you may not, but unless you say yes, you will never know.

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A surprise…

Ever have someone surprise you? Give you something you weren’t expecting? Take you somewhere you weren’t expecting? It’s nice when someone comes along and surprises you. It makes you feel special. I always say it’s the little things in life that mean the most and it’s true. The most precious gifts come from the heart and usually cost little or no money. After a crazy day at work, to receive a sweet surprise, whether it’s a hug, foot massage, full massage, etc., it’s the thought behind the gesture that means more than anything. Sometimes we are so busy day in and day out, we truly do forget to stop and smell the roses. So try to take time out of your busy life and call that friend you haven’t talk to in awhile, surprise that someone special with a hug and massage, do something nice for a total stranger who looks like they are having a bad day or just smile at everyone you see and maybe you will get a smile back.

Kids come first!

Kids come first no matter what…I am in a situation where my x put his gf’s, now new wife and her son before his own children. If I was ever with someone who put me or my children before their own children or even family, I would walk away from them. Anyone that would ask you to put them before your kids and/or family, is someone who is selfish and me personally, I would never be with.

Some people will use their kids as a pawn or excuse. They claim they deserve to have a life, WRONG answer! Your children did not ask to be born, you choose to have children. I know some who believe once they turn 18, well they no longer need their parents around, as they feel they are adults, WRONG answer again! I have seen children whose parents, walked away, put others first, etc and some of those children have acted out, get into trouble, as they have to much freedom and time without a parent or parents around. Yes our children need freedom, but they also need guidance, a parent that not only tells them they love them, but shows them they do. When a daughter is no longer daddy’s little girl, a son dad’s pal and dad puts a woman first, the child no matter the age, will feel hurt and rejected. It’s the same when a son is no longer mommy’s boy, a daughter her best gal, because mom puts a man first, again the child, no matter the age, will feel hurt and rejected.

Do we deserve to be happy, yes, but not at the expense of our children. We need to schedule our lives around our children and not schedule our children around our lives.

I have been had men tell me I use my kids as an excuse not to see them, not true! Yes my daughter is away at college and my son lives with his girlfriend, so I don’t sit home waiting for them to make plans with me, but if they need me, I will be there for them. My children and I text each other good morning every day, call or text good night every night and talk at least once a day on the phone, even if it’s a quick minute conversation. No I’m not a helicopter mom! I treat my kids like the adults they are, but also let them know I love them and I’m here for them. People are shocked that my children actually want to hang out with me and spend time with me. Not only do my children, but also their friends do too. I don’t talk at my kids, I talk to them, I don’t tell them what to do, I tell them what I would do. If they ask me I give my opinion and sometimes when they don’t ask lol. Am I perfect? Not even close! But when you show your kids love, you get love! Never use them as a weapon or a excuse!

What would you do if it was your last day….

Did or do you have that one person, no matter what, they get your juices flowing, can turn your frown upside down and their smile, their voice, their laugh, a simple conversation, a text, etc., as you have such an amazing sexual, physical, friendship connection, that no matter what they do it turns you on. It’s something you can’t explain. I think this is rare and most people I have talked to, say there was or is one person that all around does it for them. Some aren’t with that person, never were with them and some married that person. Sometimes it’s not their looks, it’s the way they have about them, their personality, just something or everything about them that just turns you on, as you feel such a connection to them. They are the first person you think of when you have news, something great happens, something sad or upsetting happens, etc, as you just want to share with them, you know they will make a good thing even better and a sad thing hurt less. You know they understand, will be there, emotionally, even if they can’t physically. If you are lucky enough to find that person, hold on to them, even if it’s just a friend, as we all need someone we can count on.

Tonight I did one of those silly things on Facebook and it said that I need my children. That everything I do is to leave a good legacy for my children. They are the reason I never give up, even sometimes when it’s difficult. That I fight like a lioness, for my children’s happiness. This is so very true, but I also fight and never give up on those I love. I want the ones I love to also have happiness! Everyone deserves happiness! If you truly love someone you want them happy no matter what!

I had a professor who said “do everything as if it’s the last time you will do it” So when you are afraid to do something, not sure if you should do something, think what you would do if it was your last day on this earth. You will then have your answer to most questions, situations or dilemmas you face.

Out of something bad, always comes something good….

My aunt has always told me out of something bad comes something good. This has been proven to me to be true many times.

My ex husband walked away from his children little by little and now doesn’t exist in their lives. This helped me to be stronger, become even closer to my children and to help me grow, as a person. It helped me, after some time, to realize sometimes, as much as we want to, some things are out of our control and we just have to accept them and move on. Also, some people will walk away from you, when things get tough, when you lose control, lose your way, instead of being there for you. The people that truly love you, will tell you not what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. They will stand by you, help you find your way, be the shoulder to cry on, ear to listen and just be there for you. Some people step up in a way that amazes you, they step in and not to replace the absent father in my children’s lives, but to be a supportive and encouraging for person to them.

When things get tough you can either give up or stand up and fight. I have been knocked down, pushed around, bullied, made to believe I can’t do this and I’m not worthy of certain things and people. I let these negative people get me down at times, believed their hurtful words, even broke down and cried many times. The main thing is that I didn’t stay down, I got back up, fought back or walked away. I learned some people aren’t worth my breathe, time or energy. This took me time to learn, as it bothered me when someone would say these things or think badly of me. They can say or believe what they want, as I have learned their opinions do not matter, as I only have to answer to myself and my children. I have learned some may think something I am doing is wrong, but as long as I don’t feel it is, it makes me happy and I am not hurting anyone, then let them talk, it’s just words and their problem not mine. I have and will continue to prove the negative people wrong!

So out of all the bad, negative and disappointments I have faced, I have and continue to become a stronger better me, so that’s a good thing. Remember people will knock you down, as long as you keep getting up, they don’t win, you do!

Breadcrumbs……

First if you don’t know what this means it means when we send flirtatious, yet non-committal messages or set very general plans, but never following through.

For these people dating may not be a priority, they don’t want to hurt your feelings, they want a quick ego boost, they are feeling guilty, they miss you, to keep in touch without seeing you, they are lonely, they don’t want to completely lose you, they are just looking for a booty call, they are scared to commit and some don’t even realize they are doing it.

When this happens it gives the person they are sending the breadcrumbs to, a false sense of hope. It makes them think maybe they are truly interested in some sort of relationship with them. I myself was guilty of this, as they filled a void for me, at the time. I realized this wasn’t fair to the person I was bread-crumbing, so now I cut them off and block them so I’m not tempted to breadcrumb them.

This leads me to the question, do we allow ourselves to be breadcrumbed, as we are hopeful they will realize what an amazing person we are and how there is no one out there like us, so we hold on. Is this healthy? Is this fantasy and not reality? Does it ruin how we see others we meet? It usually is that person we can’t seem to say good bye to, we can’t imagine them not being in our life, yet wonder if them being in our life is clouding and ruining our judgement and feelings of others. I have talked to several people and some cut the person out, admitted it was hard to do and they miss them, but as time went on missed them less and less and found someone to make them happy. They admitted they think about them and wonder what they didn’t have that the other person wanted, that they didn’t want them.

Life is not a dress rehearsal, but sometimes we act out the same scene over and over, as we hope to land the part, yet over and over we are told we aren’t right for the part. Do we give up, try a new scene, land a different part? Or do we hang in there and hope that some day we land our dream part?

Some follow their dreams and never give up, others give it a try and after a while go in a new direction.

Valentines Day….

Most of this is from last year with some changes, as I liked it. As this year I have a Valentine I guess you would say…I could careless if I went out tonight, as I feel things are over priced and not as good, as they try for volume. I will go enjoy and treat it like any other date. Hope everyone enjoys their day…

I have to say I was never a real big fan of Valentine’s Day. I have always felt it seemed silly that people needed a holiday, to make them tell and show people they love and care about, how they felt. The people in my life, shouldn’t need a holiday to tell and show me how they feel. I feel every day we should show and tell the people in our lives, how special they are. I’m not saying I want gifts and flowers every day. I feel there are many ways in which we can show and tell people just how special they are to us, without flowers and gifts. My kids one year ask me what I wanted and I told them, I would love it if you would clean my car. They thought I was kidding, but I wasn’t. I feel doing something for someone, making something, giving them a hug, taking a walk with them or sending them a simple text to tell them how special they are, is the most priceless gift you can give someone. I want to be surprised with flowers for no reason. A romantic dinner for no reason. A weekend away just the two of us. A night in, cuddled on the couch, watching a movie. I am a person that enjoys and appreciates the simple things in life. I feel the most precious and priceless things, aren’t things and cost little or no money. The most precious of all things someone can give, is their time. I feel anyone can spend a lot of money and put no effort or thought into a gift. The most precious gifts I have received were homemade and/or with a lot of work and thought put into them. One of the best gifts I received from my children, was a basket full of me things. It was all my favorite things I liked to do, gift cards for a manicure/pedicure, a massage, Starbucks and my favorite shower gel and lotion from Bath and Body Works. This year for Christmas my favorite gift was a mug the says “I Love You To The Moon And Back” from my kids, as I say that to them all the time. Another was a friend took me to dinner and dancing to celebrate my 50th birthday. It was a night of great conversation, company and laughs. I ate more than I should, danced more than I should and stayed out later than I should, but enjoyed myself and had fun. All of these were such sweet and thoughtful gifts. So everyone needs to show the special people in their lives, how special they are, not just because a holiday tells us to, but because we want too!

I have lost too many people in my life, way too soon and unexpectedly. Sometimes we don’t have as much time with the people closest to us, as we thought or would have wanted. Remember no tomorrow is guaranteed!