Yes it’s a scary world out there dating and trying to find that special someone isn’t easy….

I have been asked many times, if I reveal to someone that is interested in dating me, that I have a blog. I don’t reveal that right away, as it does contain some very personal information, but in time I would. I will say this, if I was to get involved and become committed to someone, if they asked me to no longer post, then I would stop posting. I have been asked, if I would date someone that had a blog, as I could potentially become a blog post and be trashed, if it didn’t work out. My answer will always be yes, I would. I have also been asked, if I thought potential mates, would see it as man trashing and view me as a man hater. I started this blog, as a form of therapy for myself, to express what I have gone and I am going through. Some like it, some hate it, some can relate and some think it shows how I have grown as a person, in my journey. I feel I have grown a lot, since I have started this journey, spiritually, emotionally, physically and sexually. I have made mistakes along the way and haven’t always made the best choices, but no one is perfect!

Sadly today’s reality is, it takes five minutes to create a blog, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any kind of social media, so even if someone didn’t have any and all these, it would only take them minutes to create. In today’s world of social media, anyone can write anything, about anyone and trash them, a business, etc., in minutes. Also, there is the good old fashion trash talking. So I can’t worry about what someone will or will not do, if things don’t work out. If you think to much of all the things someone could or would do, you will drive yourself crazy. Plus you are entering into something, expecting it to fail, so most likely it will, with that way of thinking. Yes, I have talked about men I have met, on this blog, but I do not give their names, where they lived or any other information, that would give away their identity. I don’t write it to trash them, I write it to share an experience and what I have learned from it. I have been approached, emailed and text about the identity of who one or more of these men are. I did not, would not and will never, answer them or reveal who they are. It is not about them, it’s about me and what I have learned or taken away from the experience.

I, myself, have been the victim of trash talking, by my ex, to the women he has dated, his family and current wife. I have had co-workers, who I didn’t care to share my private life with, so they made their own assumptions, about me and my private life. I have had family, because I no longer care to share, as I was judged when I did. Sadly, also by people I thought were my friends. I use to worry about what people thought about me, but have discovered, in this journey, people will talk about you, no matter what you do or say. Some, feel I am private, because I have something to hide. I have learned, life is to short to have what if’s, people will talk about you, make assumptions about you and judge you, no matter what you do. So my answer will always be ABSOLUTELY, I would date someone that had a blog, if that person made me happy. I would, however, tell them, the minute my children’s or my identity was hinted to, revealed or either my children, family, friends or myself were trashed, we would be done, of course! Also, if we were to break up, they wanted to trash me, as I said, they could trash me through any form of social media or by good old fashion trash talk. So, if they were to trash me, if things went bad, well let them, as I would know the truth and could careless, what they had to say. Have I told stories, about guys that it didn’t work out, absolutely. I give them nicknames, again, nothing that would even come close to hinting their name, who they are or where they are from.

In today’s world of internet, people snapping pictures and posting from their phone, etc., unfortunately, privacy almost doesn’t exist! So you could be anywhere in public or a private event and someone finds something funny about you and/or the person you are with, they snap a picture, without you even knowing, post it on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, any and all social media they have. You have not a clue, yet you are out there floating around on the World Wide Web. Someone, maybe even the person(s), you are in the picture with, can take a picture of you, that was taken, with your permission and photo shop it, make it look different. They could add things, take away things, give that photo a whole different story.

When something ends, I look back at the happy times and I am thankful for them. I take the bad times and learn from them. I feel you can’t fix unhappy, so if someone doesn’t want to be with you, move on and find someone that you make happy and they make you happy. We all deserve happiness!

Yes it’s a scary world out there dating and trying to find that special someone isn’t easy. I feel when the right person comes along, it feels right, you believe and trust them, until they give you a reason not too. So take that chance on happiness, even if it’s scary, enjoy every day and if it doesn’t last forever, walk away, have no regrets and try again with someone else. You never know when your next first date, kiss, maybe your last first date and kiss.

NO TOMORROW IS GUARANTEED!!

“Change is never welcome…Often necessary…and Always inevitable” unknown

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We all deserve someone….

We all deserve someone that tells us we are beautiful not hot. We all deserve someone that wants to lay on the beach, under the stars, listening to the waves and the beat of each other’s hearts. We all deserve someone that doesn’t care what we do, as long, as we are doing it together. We all deserve someone that appreciates the time we are together, as it’s the quality, not the quantity, of time we are together. We all deserve someone that when we wake, in the middle of the night, we discover they were watching us sleep. We all deserve someone that we can fall asleep with our head on their chest, listening to their heartbeat, as we stroke their chest. We all deserve someone who checks on us , with a sweet text, a cute message or just to tell us, we make them smile, when they think of us. We all deserve someone who is proud to tell their friends and family, that you are their someone special. We all deserve someone who thinks we are just as beautiful in sweats without make up, as we are in a dress and heels. We all deserve someone, that wants to stay in and cuddle on the couch, but also wants to take us out, for a night on the town. We all deserve someone, who turns us on, just from the thought of them. We all deserve someone we can tell everything and anything. We all deserve someone who will always be there for us, even when we agree to disagree. We all deserve someone who seems to know us better than we know ourselves, at times. We all deserve someone that makes us laugh, when we feel like crying. We all deserve someone, when we don’t need any words spoken, but just to hold us, until we fall asleep. We all deserve someone that truly makes us happy.

Respect privacy, not disrespect….

I have met some people who don’t do the social media thing, don’t like to give details, etc. I find these are the same people that want to know every detail about everyone else’s life. These are the same people also, that go days without contact and when asked how their week was, what they were up to, you get a very vague answer. I respect that some people are private. I have however, found that some who claim they are private, really have something to hide. The biggest part they want to keep private, you. They seem to want to know every detail of your day and night. At first you think this is sweet, as you think they are trying to get to know you. After a while, you realize they want to know, so they know where you are, at all times and to ensure you two don’t cross paths. When you google them, you come across pictures of them with the wife, kids, their significant other or several different woman. I myself am an open book, when I meet someone. I tell them what I want, what I expect from a person and what I’m looking for. I may not come right out and rattle it all off, but I will work it into the conversation. I have said this before, everyone has a past, no one is perfect and this journey is a learning experience. Every person is different and wants different things, so what one thinks is wrong, another thinks is perfect. I have discovered I like to tell all about me and what I’m about. I, of course, don’t do this all at once, as I don’t want scare someone and send them running. I feel if you are with someone else, living under the same roof as your ex or whatever the circumstances, be up front and let the person you are with decide if they want to continue. I have discovered, I don’t want or deserve to be anyone’s dirty little secret. I have discovered, I want a guy I’m with, in time, who can’t wait to introduce me to friends, then family and lastly his children. If he can’t say to them, this is the special person in my life, then he’s not the person for me.

The things I wonder….

As I sit outside drinking my morning coffee, listening to the birds, feeling the cool breeze, so many things go through my mind. I wonder if this is how my life will be, me and my dogs, as my companions. I wonder how my life would have been different, if I would have made different choices. One thing I will NEVER regret is my children! I wonder how their father turned so angry, how he can just turn his back on his children and how his family can sit back and watch him do this to their family, my children, and say nothing to him! I am not perfect by any means, but I try to do the right thing, each and every day.

Another thing I wonder is, will I find a companion, someone to spend time with, be my plus one, when I need it. I like living alone, so I’m not looking for someone to move in or be with me all the time. I have plenty of friends and family, but it would be nice to have someone in my life. Someone to go to dinner, the movies, NYC, Atlantic City, cook a meal together once in awhile, take a walk, someone to ask how my day was or give me a hug when I’m having a bad day or week. You would think this would be easy to find, yet it’s not. I had a guy recently his kids were grown and on their own and he lives alone. He asked if I lived alone, so I said except in the summer, when my daughter is home from college. He then told me he likes me, but he will not waste any more of my time, as he’s looking for someone that lives alone. I can tell you, that statement spoke volumes to me. He obviously would not take his child in if they needed a place, doesn’t care for children, since he wasn’t willing to deal with the fact my daughter would be home summers and holidays and probably isn’t a good father. Am I assuming these things, yes! I could be totally wrong, but what does it matter if my children live with me or not! What if I did live alone and one of my children needed a place to live, would he stop seeing me? So he wasn’t for me and I’m glad he didn’t waste my time!

I then have the ones I just don’t feel a connection with and they will not listen and stop trying. They call, email, etc., no matter how many times, in a nice way I say I’m not interested.

So as I sit here I wonder, is there someone out there with the balance of what I am looking for? No I don’t need or have to have a man, but would like one sometimes.

I have my cousins wedding coming up next week, I didn’t get “and guest” so I’m going solo, which is fine, I love to dance and have a good time. Also, I have been told in a subtle way, there will be a single guy or two at the wedding.

So as I sit here enjoying the cool breeze, birds singing and my coffee, so many thoughts and questions going through my head and wonder if I will find the answers.

Utube online dating….

Take a chance and say yes….

Sometimes in life you just have to take a chance. You need to not think, just do it. You need to live in and enjoy the moment. You can’t over think it, just enjoy. Don’t worry about tomorrow, next week, next month, etc., just enjoy today. Take one day at a time and in time see what happens. You need to take that walk, go to that dinner and just enjoy the moment you are in. I am good at telling others to live in the moment, as life is to short, but can’t always take my own advice. So take that walk along the ocean, enjoy the company, the smell of the ocean and sound of the waves. Go to dinner, enjoy the food, the company, laugh and eat to much.

Sometimes we need to do things that are outside our comfort zone. In life you never know what will happen unless you take a chance. So go ahead and say yes to something and see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised or you may not, but unless you say yes, you will never know.

A surprise…

Ever have someone surprise you? Give you something you weren’t expecting? Take you somewhere you weren’t expecting? It’s nice when someone comes along and surprises you. It makes you feel special. I always say it’s the little things in life that mean the most and it’s true. The most precious gifts come from the heart and usually cost little or no money. After a crazy day at work, to receive a sweet surprise, whether it’s a hug, foot massage, full massage, etc., it’s the thought behind the gesture that means more than anything. Sometimes we are so busy day in and day out, we truly do forget to stop and smell the roses. So try to take time out of your busy life and call that friend you haven’t talk to in awhile, surprise that someone special with a hug and massage, do something nice for a total stranger who looks like they are having a bad day or just smile at everyone you see and maybe you will get a smile back.