Some things you just explain…

Sometimes you can’t explain your relationship/friendship or just what a person means to you. They are the first person you want to tell good news, bad news and everything in between. They are someone you have shared your deepest darkest secrets with, told them things you haven’t shared with another person. You have shared your hopes, fears, and everything in between. They are someone you could talk with, laugh with or just walk with for hours. They are someone you can have fights with, not talk to for a while, not see for awhile, but when you talk or see each other again, it’s as if no time had passed.

When you meet someone and for some reason you and that person just click, it’s like you have been friends forever, like you were meant to meet and become friends. From the moment you met them, you felt comfortable with them, trusted them to share any and all things and knew they would be a forever friend. You knew this would be someone that you could count on, would be there for you when you needed them and you for them. They say that everyone comes into your life for a reason and even though at the time when you met them, you didn’t know why you met them, but in time it will become clear to you, why you did. At times some people will not understand your friendship, but it’s something special between two people that can’t be explained. Some of it can’t be explained, because you can’t tell people the things you have shared, the things they have done for you and the bond the two of you share. Also you, yourself at times, can’t explain the bond between you and this person. I think a bond/connection with someone like this is something that isn’t something anyone can explain.

I have lost a couple of very dear friends and loved ones way to soon. I feel some of the people I have met through them, after they have passed and that some people were sent to me by friends and loved ones that have past on. I feel these people have not taken the place of the person that passed, but were sent to help fill the void of the person I lost and to watch over me.

So when you meet someone and can’t explain the immediate connection with them, don’t try, just look up and say thank you, as they were probably sent from someone in your life that you lost.

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Breadcrumbs……

First if you don’t know what this means it means when we send flirtatious, yet non-committal messages or set very general plans, but never following through.

For these people dating may not be a priority, they don’t want to hurt your feelings, they want a quick ego boost, they are feeling guilty, they miss you, to keep in touch without seeing you, they are lonely, they don’t want to completely lose you, they are just looking for a booty call, they are scared to commit and some don’t even realize they are doing it.

When this happens it gives the person they are sending the breadcrumbs to, a false sense of hope. It makes them think maybe they are truly interested in some sort of relationship with them. I myself was guilty of this, as they filled a void for me, at the time. I realized this wasn’t fair to the person I was bread-crumbing, so now I cut them off and block them so I’m not tempted to breadcrumb them.

This leads me to the question, do we allow ourselves to be breadcrumbed, as we are hopeful they will realize what an amazing person we are and how there is no one out there like us, so we hold on. Is this healthy? Is this fantasy and not reality? Does it ruin how we see others we meet? It usually is that person we can’t seem to say good bye to, we can’t imagine them not being in our life, yet wonder if them being in our life is clouding and ruining our judgement and feelings of others. I have talked to several people and some cut the person out, admitted it was hard to do and they miss them, but as time went on missed them less and less and found someone to make them happy. They admitted they think about them and wonder what they didn’t have that the other person wanted, that they didn’t want them.

Life is not a dress rehearsal, but sometimes we act out the same scene over and over, as we hope to land the part, yet over and over we are told we aren’t right for the part. Do we give up, try a new scene, land a different part? Or do we hang in there and hope that some day we land our dream part?

Some follow their dreams and never give up, others give it a try and after a while go in a new direction.

Cecilia’s Secret Side….

I have taken a break from posting and have been focusing on me and my book writing….I have vowed that this is the year I will finish at least one of my books I have started and I have been writing away and so excited, as I am limitless….sorry for the lack of posts but creative juices have been flowing and have to finish what I started….

AMAZING 2018!!!

Taking a break for a bit…Hope everyone has a happy, healthy New Year filled with amazing people and things, health happiness and love!!!

Everyone touches and teaches us in some way…

Christmas Eve we went to see “It’s a Wonderful Life” in the movie theater. As the angel shows George what life for others, would have been like, if he never was born. I wondered how my life would have been different, if I hadn’t met certain people in my life. I wondered how their lives would have been different. I wondered how my life would have been, if I went through with calling off my engagement and never getting married. I wondered if I would have married someday, someone else or if I would have had children. I can’t imagine not having my two children, not being in my life. I also, can’t imagine myself, if I hadn’t met the people that I have. Even if these people are no longer in my life, they came into my life for a reason. Some changed me, taught me something, inspired me in some way and/or blessed me. I would also like to think that I also affected their lives in some way.

One friend would always call the men I have met my flock. Yes I have gone on a lot of first dates, maybe some second, even some third ones and sometimes several with the same guy. I can’t say I regret one of them, as each and everyone of them, helped me to figure out the kind of person I wanted in my life and the ones that I don’t. Like the saying goes “you have to kiss a lot of frogs”. Well I haven’t kissed a lot, but I have talk to, hugged and even ran from some lol. Dating or going on meetings, as I call them, online dating, may not be for everyone. Some feel going on a bunch of dates or meetings, isn’t for them or they just don’t have the time for it. Others don’t like change, stay in a marriage, relationship or situation, as they are afraid of change, the unknown or being alone. I stayed in my marriage way longer than I should have and also, have sometimes gone on way more dates than I should have, with the same person. I have also talk text or met guys, I didn’t feel were necessarily for me, but gave them a chance. I have had guys that I didn’t feel that romantic connection with, but became friends with. Some I communicated for awhile and others I couldn’t wait to run away from lol.

I feel people and lives mold who we are, teach us and make us the person we are today or will become. Some change us for the better and others, not so much. We need to remember everyone we meet or that comes into our lives, does so for a reason or lesson. They teach us something, sometimes positive and sometimes negative.

So thank the people that have touch you, molded you, taught you about who you want to be, taught you the kind of things you are willing and not willing to accept, that inspired you or changed you in some way.

The Book

So many people have told me that I need to write a book and I have started and stopped, started and stopped one, last night I wrote and wrote….I hope by the end of 2018 to have it published……look for it….

Reflecting on the past year…

As Christmas approaches and the year comes to an end, I reflect back on the past year. I am so thankful for my children, they drive me crazy at times, but make me so proud every single day, to be their mother! I have family and friends that we have had our ups and downs, but through it all they are there for me and I am there for them. I have said good bye to some and some have said good bye to me, this year. I truly believe everyone comes into our lives for a reason, so whether they are still in my life or have walked away, I am still thankful for every single one of them. Some good byes break your heart, but sometimes it’s better to say good bye and move on. Some good byes you didn’t want, but for some reason they did. The holidays are tough, especially when you are alone. I am a very independent person, but do like having that special friend. I love my kids with all my heart, but as they get older, are molding their own lives, I am grateful for my friends and family, but also enjoy my alone time. I am hoping this year brings all my family, friends, but most of all, my children, health, happiness and great things. I will be receiving the most precious gift of all in 2018, my first grandchild, a little baby girl. I pray she will be healthy and happy always.

I wish everyone a great Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza or whatever holiday you celebrate. Also a Happy and Healthy New Year!!!!