We realize….

When we realize something will never be

We sometimes dream something only we can see

We imagine it will pass in time

We soon realize it was only in our mind

We realize what was will never happen again

We realize all we are is a friend

We are sad for the loss of something that wasn’t ours

For what we had we thank our lucky stars

We may not understand the choice that was made

We may even feel we were a little played

We accepted it will never be any more

We feel all wasn’t fair in love and this war

We know we were the best

We know they settled for less

We move on and get what we want and deserve

We tuck the memories away and them we preserve

We pray they are happy with their choice

We hope some day with happiness they will rejoice

We care so much happiness for them is all we want to see

We know it is what it is and what is meant to be will be

What all the others taught you….

When you meet someone that makes you realize why all the others weren’t the right one. It makes you realize how someone who truly cares for you should and will treat you. You realize how you deserve to be treated. You realize how someone who truly wants to be with you, will find the time for you. It makes you realize the others weren’t a mistake, they were a lesson. They made you realize who and what you want, but more importantly, who and what you deserve. Each and everyone of them made you the person you are today. You owe them a thank you, as they taught you to not settle, to not be afraid to say what you want and be who you truly are. They made you realize you deserve happiness. They brought out sides of you that maybe you didn’t know existed or were afraid to show the world. They say everyone comes into your life for a reason and I truly believe they do.

One guy taught me to not judge a book by its cover. He was a sweetheart of a guy, a true gentleman, so he seemed. He did and said all the right things, well all the things he knew a woman wanted to hear. I did notice very small red flags, but thought I was just being negative. I then was directed to a site called CheaterLand. There was many women telling stories of being used and scammed by this guy, of course along with many other cheating men and woman. I didn’t want to believe it at first. I went to his “live in” girlfriend’s Facebook page, mentioned on the cheating site. There the two of them were, picture after picture of the two of them, not just recently, but for several years. This was a big lesson in never judge a book by its cover. Even though I felt like a fool, it didn’t discourage me. I realized when it’s the right person, you know in your gut and will have no doubts in your mind.

Yes it’s a scary world out there dating and trying to find that special someone isn’t easy….

I have been asked many times, if I reveal to someone that is interested in dating me, that I have a blog. I don’t reveal that right away, as it does contain some very personal information, but in time I would. I will say this, if I was to get involved and become committed to someone, if they asked me to no longer post, then I would stop posting. I have been asked, if I would date someone that had a blog, as I could potentially become a blog post and be trashed, if it didn’t work out. My answer will always be yes, I would. I have also been asked, if I thought potential mates, would see it as man trashing and view me as a man hater. I started this blog, as a form of therapy for myself, to express what I have gone and I am going through. Some like it, some hate it, some can relate and some think it shows how I have grown as a person, in my journey. I feel I have grown a lot, since I have started this journey, spiritually, emotionally, physically and sexually. I have made mistakes along the way and haven’t always made the best choices, but no one is perfect!

Sadly today’s reality is, it takes five minutes to create a blog, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any kind of social media, so even if someone didn’t have any and all these, it would only take them minutes to create. In today’s world of social media, anyone can write anything, about anyone and trash them, a business, etc., in minutes. Also, there is the good old fashion trash talking. So I can’t worry about what someone will or will not do, if things don’t work out. If you think to much of all the things someone could or would do, you will drive yourself crazy. Plus you are entering into something, expecting it to fail, so most likely it will, with that way of thinking. Yes, I have talked about men I have met, on this blog, but I do not give their names, where they lived or any other information, that would give away their identity. I don’t write it to trash them, I write it to share an experience and what I have learned from it. I have been approached, emailed and text about the identity of who one or more of these men are. I did not, would not and will never, answer them or reveal who they are. It is not about them, it’s about me and what I have learned or taken away from the experience.

I, myself, have been the victim of trash talking, by my ex, to the women he has dated, his family and current wife. I have had co-workers, who I didn’t care to share my private life with, so they made their own assumptions, about me and my private life. I have had family, because I no longer care to share, as I was judged when I did. Sadly, also by people I thought were my friends. I use to worry about what people thought about me, but have discovered, in this journey, people will talk about you, no matter what you do or say. Some, feel I am private, because I have something to hide. I have learned, life is to short to have what if’s, people will talk about you, make assumptions about you and judge you, no matter what you do. So my answer will always be ABSOLUTELY, I would date someone that had a blog, if that person made me happy. I would, however, tell them, the minute my children’s or my identity was hinted to, revealed or either my children, family, friends or myself were trashed, we would be done, of course! Also, if we were to break up, they wanted to trash me, as I said, they could trash me through any form of social media or by good old fashion trash talk. So, if they were to trash me, if things went bad, well let them, as I would know the truth and could careless, what they had to say. Have I told stories, about guys that it didn’t work out, absolutely. I give them nicknames, again, nothing that would even come close to hinting their name, who they are or where they are from.

In today’s world of internet, people snapping pictures and posting from their phone, etc., unfortunately, privacy almost doesn’t exist! So you could be anywhere in public or a private event and someone finds something funny about you and/or the person you are with, they snap a picture, without you even knowing, post it on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, any and all social media they have. You have not a clue, yet you are out there floating around on the World Wide Web. Someone, maybe even the person(s), you are in the picture with, can take a picture of you, that was taken, with your permission and photo shop it, make it look different. They could add things, take away things, give that photo a whole different story.

When something ends, I look back at the happy times and I am thankful for them. I take the bad times and learn from them. I feel you can’t fix unhappy, so if someone doesn’t want to be with you, move on and find someone that you make happy and they make you happy. We all deserve happiness!

Yes it’s a scary world out there dating and trying to find that special someone isn’t easy. I feel when the right person comes along, it feels right, you believe and trust them, until they give you a reason not too. So take that chance on happiness, even if it’s scary, enjoy every day and if it doesn’t last forever, walk away, have no regrets and try again with someone else. You never know when your next first date, kiss, maybe your last first date and kiss.

NO TOMORROW IS GUARANTEED!!

“Change is never welcome…Often necessary…and Always inevitable” unknown

Utube online dating….

Breadcrumbs……

First if you don’t know what this means it means when we send flirtatious, yet non-committal messages or set very general plans, but never following through.

For these people dating may not be a priority, they don’t want to hurt your feelings, they want a quick ego boost, they are feeling guilty, they miss you, to keep in touch without seeing you, they are lonely, they don’t want to completely lose you, they are just looking for a booty call, they are scared to commit and some don’t even realize they are doing it.

When this happens it gives the person they are sending the breadcrumbs to, a false sense of hope. It makes them think maybe they are truly interested in some sort of relationship with them. I myself was guilty of this, as they filled a void for me, at the time. I realized this wasn’t fair to the person I was bread-crumbing, so now I cut them off and block them so I’m not tempted to breadcrumb them.

This leads me to the question, do we allow ourselves to be breadcrumbed, as we are hopeful they will realize what an amazing person we are and how there is no one out there like us, so we hold on. Is this healthy? Is this fantasy and not reality? Does it ruin how we see others we meet? It usually is that person we can’t seem to say good bye to, we can’t imagine them not being in our life, yet wonder if them being in our life is clouding and ruining our judgement and feelings of others. I have talked to several people and some cut the person out, admitted it was hard to do and they miss them, but as time went on missed them less and less and found someone to make them happy. They admitted they think about them and wonder what they didn’t have that the other person wanted, that they didn’t want them.

Life is not a dress rehearsal, but sometimes we act out the same scene over and over, as we hope to land the part, yet over and over we are told we aren’t right for the part. Do we give up, try a new scene, land a different part? Or do we hang in there and hope that some day we land our dream part?

Some follow their dreams and never give up, others give it a try and after a while go in a new direction.

A getaway

A get away to AC

A relaxing time hopefully

Some shopping during the day

Take time clear the cobwebs away

Enjoy a nice dinner and some romancing

Enjoy great music and some dancing

Try our luck at the slots

Have some drinks and shots

Return to the room when we are done

Enjoy each other and some bedroom fun

© 2018 Teri Fitzgerald

Cecilia’s Secret Side….

I have taken a break from posting and have been focusing on me and my book writing….I have vowed that this is the year I will finish at least one of my books I have started and I have been writing away and so excited, as I am limitless….sorry for the lack of posts but creative juices have been flowing and have to finish what I started….

AMAZING 2018!!!

Taking a break for a bit…Hope everyone has a happy, healthy New Year filled with amazing people and things, health happiness and love!!!

Everyone touches and teaches us in some way…

Christmas Eve we went to see “It’s a Wonderful Life” in the movie theater. As the angel shows George what life for others, would have been like, if he never was born. I wondered how my life would have been different, if I hadn’t met certain people in my life. I wondered how their lives would have been different. I wondered how my life would have been, if I went through with calling off my engagement and never getting married. I wondered if I would have married someday, someone else or if I would have had children. I can’t imagine not having my two children, not being in my life. I also, can’t imagine myself, if I hadn’t met the people that I have. Even if these people are no longer in my life, they came into my life for a reason. Some changed me, taught me something, inspired me in some way and/or blessed me. I would also like to think that I also affected their lives in some way.

One friend would always call the men I have met my flock. Yes I have gone on a lot of first dates, maybe some second, even some third ones and sometimes several with the same guy. I can’t say I regret one of them, as each and everyone of them, helped me to figure out the kind of person I wanted in my life and the ones that I don’t. Like the saying goes “you have to kiss a lot of frogs”. Well I haven’t kissed a lot, but I have talk to, hugged and even ran from some lol. Dating or going on meetings, as I call them, online dating, may not be for everyone. Some feel going on a bunch of dates or meetings, isn’t for them or they just don’t have the time for it. Others don’t like change, stay in a marriage, relationship or situation, as they are afraid of change, the unknown or being alone. I stayed in my marriage way longer than I should have and also, have sometimes gone on way more dates than I should have, with the same person. I have also talk text or met guys, I didn’t feel were necessarily for me, but gave them a chance. I have had guys that I didn’t feel that romantic connection with, but became friends with. Some I communicated for awhile and others I couldn’t wait to run away from lol.

I feel people and lives mold who we are, teach us and make us the person we are today or will become. Some change us for the better and others, not so much. We need to remember everyone we meet or that comes into our lives, does so for a reason or lesson. They teach us something, sometimes positive and sometimes negative.

So thank the people that have touch you, molded you, taught you about who you want to be, taught you the kind of things you are willing and not willing to accept, that inspired you or changed you in some way.

The Book

So many people have told me that I need to write a book and I have started and stopped, started and stopped one, last night I wrote and wrote….I hope by the end of 2018 to have it published……look for it….