Out of something bad, always comes something good….

My aunt has always told me out of something bad comes something good. This has been proven to me to be true many times.

My ex husband walked away from his children little by little and now doesn’t exist in their lives. This helped me to be stronger, become even closer to my children and to help me grow, as a person. It helped me, after some time, to realize sometimes, as much as we want to, some things are out of our control and we just have to accept them and move on. Also, some people will walk away from you, when things get tough, when you lose control, lose your way, instead of being there for you. The people that truly love you, will tell you not what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. They will stand by you, help you find your way, be the shoulder to cry on, ear to listen and just be there for you. Some people step up in a way that amazes you, they step in and not to replace the absent father in my children’s lives, but to be a supportive and encouraging for person to them.

When things get tough you can either give up or stand up and fight. I have been knocked down, pushed around, bullied, made to believe I can’t do this and I’m not worthy of certain things and people. I let these negative people get me down at times, believed their hurtful words, even broke down and cried many times. The main thing is that I didn’t stay down, I got back up, fought back or walked away. I learned some people aren’t worth my breathe, time or energy. This took me time to learn, as it bothered me when someone would say these things or think badly of me. They can say or believe what they want, as I have learned their opinions do not matter, as I only have to answer to myself and my children. I have learned some may think something I am doing is wrong, but as long as I don’t feel it is, it makes me happy and I am not hurting anyone, then let them talk, it’s just words and their problem not mine. I have and will continue to prove the negative people wrong!

So out of all the bad, negative and disappointments I have faced, I have and continue to become a stronger better me, so that’s a good thing. Remember people will knock you down, as long as you keep getting up, they don’t win, you do!


A happy, healthy and balanced life….

I have heard, read and even said it myself many times “failure to plan is planning to fail”. I have started eating healthy, planning out my meals and cooking my meals ahead of time, so I stay on track. After a trip to ShopRite, I come home, turn the music up, crack open a beer or have a glass of wine, cook and dance around the kitchen. I love to cook it relaxes me. I cook a big pot of sauce, meatballs, little egg omelette cups, vegetables, chicken, pork chops and many other things. I cut up my fruit, put it in containers for the week and put them in the refrigerator, so I am prepared for my meals and snacks for the week. I love the smell of my house when I’m cooking and even after, as it lingers. It can be exhausting preparing and cooking for the week, but the more exhausting part is cleaning the dishes, after you are done cooking. It does take a bit of your time to prepare and plan your meals. If you’re not someone who likes to cook, or don’t have the time, there are many companies now that prepare fresh meals and deliver them to your home.

I have been getting up and going to the gym before work in the morning. I am not looking to slim down and have a Barbie figure, as that dream faded along time ago. I am looking to be healthier and in better shape. I discovered going to the gym in the morning, I have more energy throughout my day, I don’t get that tired sluggish feeling mid day either. I also have been sleeping better at night and find I am not as hungry throughout the day. Going to the gym isn’t for everyone. I joined Planet Fitness, as it is within my budget and close to my home.

We all indulge every now and then, but if overall we are eating healthy and in good shape, I feel it cancels out those times we indulge. I will admit, it is so much easier to do nothing, then to do something. Also, in our busy lives between work, kids, animals, commitments etc. we are tired, so quick and fast are easier. Eating healthy can be more expensive, not as quick or easy, but I found eating out becomes more expensive in the long run. Unhealthy eating, can also effect your health, in the long run.

I am expecting my first grandchild in May of this year and I want to be around for a really long time to enjoy her and hopefully many more grandchildren to come in the future. So I will try my best to eat healthy, exercise and live a happy and hopefully long life.

We all need to enjoy life and sometimes we just have to turn up the music and dance. I feel we should all enjoy life do it makes us happy, be healthy and the best we can be each day. My thinking is, if you are healthy 80% of the time, it makes up for the unhealthy things you do the other 20% of the time. I also feel we do need to indulge every now and then. If we don’t treat ourselves, then we feel we’re being deprived and that’s when we tend to over indulge more than we should. Life is all about balance. We need to balance everything in our lives, our work, our family, our friends, our relationship, our health, etc. We can’t always find the right balance, but as long as we keep trying and adjusting as life is always changing, we go with what works during that time. Life can get overwhelming at times, it’s at those times we need to shift the balance to ourselves. As if we aren’t healthy, we are no good to the people depending on us.


First if you don’t know what this means it means when we send flirtatious, yet non-committal messages or set very general plans, but never following through.

For these people dating may not be a priority, they don’t want to hurt your feelings, they want a quick ego boost, they are feeling guilty, they miss you, to keep in touch without seeing you, they are lonely, they don’t want to completely lose you, they are just looking for a booty call, they are scared to commit and some don’t even realize they are doing it.

When this happens it gives the person they are sending the breadcrumbs to, a false sense of hope. It makes them think maybe they are truly interested in some sort of relationship with them. I myself was guilty of this, as they filled a void for me, at the time. I realized this wasn’t fair to the person I was bread-crumbing, so now I cut them off and block them so I’m not tempted to breadcrumb them.

This leads me to the question, do we allow ourselves to be breadcrumbed, as we are hopeful they will realize what an amazing person we are and how there is no one out there like us, so we hold on. Is this healthy? Is this fantasy and not reality? Does it ruin how we see others we meet? It usually is that person we can’t seem to say good bye to, we can’t imagine them not being in our life, yet wonder if them being in our life is clouding and ruining our judgement and feelings of others. I have talked to several people and some cut the person out, admitted it was hard to do and they miss them, but as time went on missed them less and less and found someone to make them happy. They admitted they think about them and wonder what they didn’t have that the other person wanted, that they didn’t want them.

Life is not a dress rehearsal, but sometimes we act out the same scene over and over, as we hope to land the part, yet over and over we are told we aren’t right for the part. Do we give up, try a new scene, land a different part? Or do we hang in there and hope that some day we land our dream part?

Some follow their dreams and never give up, others give it a try and after a while go in a new direction.

Valentines Day….

Most of this is from last year with some changes, as I liked it. As this year I have a Valentine I guess you would say…I could careless if I went out tonight, as I feel things are over priced and not as good, as they try for volume. I will go enjoy and treat it like any other date. Hope everyone enjoys their day…

I have to say I was never a real big fan of Valentine’s Day. I have always felt it seemed silly that people needed a holiday, to make them tell and show people they love and care about, how they felt. The people in my life, shouldn’t need a holiday to tell and show me how they feel. I feel every day we should show and tell the people in our lives, how special they are. I’m not saying I want gifts and flowers every day. I feel there are many ways in which we can show and tell people just how special they are to us, without flowers and gifts. My kids one year ask me what I wanted and I told them, I would love it if you would clean my car. They thought I was kidding, but I wasn’t. I feel doing something for someone, making something, giving them a hug, taking a walk with them or sending them a simple text to tell them how special they are, is the most priceless gift you can give someone. I want to be surprised with flowers for no reason. A romantic dinner for no reason. A weekend away just the two of us. A night in, cuddled on the couch, watching a movie. I am a person that enjoys and appreciates the simple things in life. I feel the most precious and priceless things, aren’t things and cost little or no money. The most precious of all things someone can give, is their time. I feel anyone can spend a lot of money and put no effort or thought into a gift. The most precious gifts I have received were homemade and/or with a lot of work and thought put into them. One of the best gifts I received from my children, was a basket full of me things. It was all my favorite things I liked to do, gift cards for a manicure/pedicure, a massage, Starbucks and my favorite shower gel and lotion from Bath and Body Works. This year for Christmas my favorite gift was a mug the says “I Love You To The Moon And Back” from my kids, as I say that to them all the time. Another was a friend took me to dinner and dancing to celebrate my 50th birthday. It was a night of great conversation, company and laughs. I ate more than I should, danced more than I should and stayed out later than I should, but enjoyed myself and had fun. All of these were such sweet and thoughtful gifts. So everyone needs to show the special people in their lives, how special they are, not just because a holiday tells us to, but because we want too!

I have lost too many people in my life, way too soon and unexpectedly. Sometimes we don’t have as much time with the people closest to us, as we thought or would have wanted. Remember no tomorrow is guaranteed!  

Why play games just be honest…..

Why do so many feel the need to hide the truth, play games and not be honest! Yesterday was a year ago that I buried a dear friend, who was taken way to soon. So again, it’s a reminder that life is to short sometimes, so don’t spend it playing games, be honest with people, especially the ones you care about and love! And the ones that care about and love you! Don’t waste time with people you shouldn’t, just because you feel bad, don’t sweat the small stuff and most importantly, don’t hurt the ones that love and care for you, have always and will always be there for you, no matter what. They are the ones that if you haven’t spoke. In a day, week, month or years, you know you call them, they will be there for you!

Why can’t everyone be up front and honest???

When getting divorced you sometimes realize or discover how much debt you really are in. I myself had a very eye opening experience, as to how much debt I really was in, when I started my divorce process. I also discovered how financially irresponsible, sneaky and dishonest my x was. He felt if you avoid a problem, it will just go away, when in reality, it makes it worse and in some cases, causes you even more debt.

I worked an average of 30 hours at a part time job in addition to my full time job. I don’t make a lot of money, but I’m a very budgeted person. I feel I am so much richer in family, friends, honesty and heart.

I have met man that when the check came, they claimed to just have discovered that they forgot or lost their wallet. Some the day of our date would text me they lost their wallet or their account was frozen, as someone hacked their account. Can these things happen, yes, but in most of these cases, I doubt it. I met a guy who explained he was laid off his job, started his own business and money was very tight for him. I had more respect for him, then someone making up a story, OK lying. I have met guys renting a room, who have moved back with their parents, moved in with his sibling or friends, as these men did not want to over extend their budget. I have more respect for them, for first being honest and second for being financially responsible. Some men are paying, alimony, child support and/or part of the household expenses that their children live in. I am an understanding woman, but come out and be honest from the beginning about your finances. If a woman will only be with you because of the size of your bank account, move on. I can tell you what is important is how a man treats me, if we have a physical, emotional connection and if I can have an intelligent conversation with him. If all you are looking for is sex, be honest, as I am sure there are some women out there that is all they are looking for, also. Everyone is entitled to what they like and want. I have had men say to me, do you know how long it has been since I had sex, I want it, I need it. My answer is well get to know me and in time if we connect that may happen, but don’t push the issue, as for me that’s a big turn off and if will be even longer before you have sex again.

Is it nice to have a man, be a gentleman, take you to dinner and treat, yes. We are in 2018, so I feel yes, in the beginning a gentleman should pay, but as time goes on, the relationship progresses, then maybe he pays for dinner and I pay for the movie or he treats one time and you treat another. I love to cook, so when we get to that point, then I would enjoy cooking for a man, especially if he cooks with me or even better yet, he cleans up 🙂

Just be honest, as I can’t speak for others, but for me that’s all I want and will have so much more respect for an honest man. These men, I feel, think we are stupid and are going to fall for their lines. I will admit, when I was first dating after my divorce I did, but live and learn!

I told him he can’t take you….

I told God he can never take you away

I told him many need you here to stay

I told him your kids and family needed you too

I told him he can not make so many would be sad and blue

I told him he has taken to many close to me

I told him for so many you are the key

I told him so many would be lost without you

I told him for so many what you do

I told him how special you are

I told him as a person you are way above par

I told him down here is where you need to be

I told him for this I want his guarantee

I told him you are not just special to others but also me

© 2018 Teri Fitzgerald.